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Welcome to another installment of my series showing you how to consume cannabis on the DL, which is certainly a valid desire if you're spending holidays with your non-cannabis-friendly family. Although you love your MAGA relatives, the chance of spilled blood is greatly decreased with the option of having access to cannabis.

Today we are looking at a product so brilliant, I can't believe it's the first time I've seen it in this form: cold brew coffee hard candy, each infused with five milligrams of THC. These dice-sized offerings from Elbe's Edibles capture the perfect yin and yang of what comprises 35 percent of my blood (caffeine), and what makes up the remaining 65 percent (THC). (Why am I not yet dead with that ratio? Not just emotionally.)

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Bucking the industry trend of using alcohol distillate (AKA "the clear") or extracts in their edibles, Elbe's keeps it old-school for the rollout of their first hard candy by using their signature full-spectrum cannabutter, crafted from whole bud and close trim from DogHouse Farms. All apologies to my vegan friends, but butter is awesome, and its rich, creamy mouthfeel lends a fantastic layer to these candies. I'm sure you could craft something somewhat similar using vegan margarine, and I urge any dairy-avoiding friends to do so if inclined, because these are just so damn good.

Now, you could just pop one in your mouth, and let it dissolve, which I have done with great success. But hold the damn phone, because you know what goes really well with cold brew coffee? MORE COFFEE. I took one and dropped it into a cup of hot coffee, and in a couple minutes, it had dissolved completely, slightly sweetening my beverage and infusing it with five milligrams of precious THC. Don't like coffee? Add it to hot cocoa, or hot tea, or a Golden Milk, or most any beverage. The butter removes the telltale metallic bitterness that some edibles that use distillates or extracts can leave as an aftertaste. These candies don't taste of cannabis, so they won't impart a weedy taste to your beverages.

I made it through the last two weeks of 24-hour election madness and racist commercials about shoeless refugee women and children threatening my way of life by popping it one, two, or five of these into my steady supply of coffee each day. I stayed fully engaged and focused enough to execute my daily duties, but softened enough to remember to breathe and repeat my mantra of "this, too, will pass." Elbe's Cold Brew Hard Candy would be the perfect tool to use in finding your happy place when spending time with people who seem intent on keeping you behind the velvet rope of entrance to said happy place. Highly recommended.