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Good morning, Portland! Even if you're not having a good morning, you're probably having a better morning than actors Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin, who face felony charges after plotting to help their kids cheat the college admissions process. This should make for a hell of a podcast episode someday!

Here are the headlines.

Pre-Paid Democracy: As Oregon faces severe budget pressure thanks to its Public Employee Retirement System (PERS), legislators are considering passing a bill that would provide pre-paid ballot postage for every Oregonian. Some lawmakers are concerned about the $2.9 million price tag—but isn't an open and accessible democracy priceless?

City Hall vs. Street Brawls: Mayor Ted Wheeler is fed up with political violence in Portland, and at yesterday's press conference said he's looking for rule changes that would make it easier to press charges against those who engage in street brawls—even if it is "mutual combat."

A Living Wage: Also at yesterday's press conference, Wheeler announced a new initiative, calling for Portland businesses to start paying their employees $15 an hour. It's worth noting that the city's minimum wage will rise to $14.75 next year.

Fucker Carlson: Media Matters has unearthed more disgusting audio clips from Fox News host and prolific dog whistler Tucker Carlson. In this edition, he's using anti-gay slurs and making racist comments about the Obamas.

"Ground This Plane": Here's the latest on the Boeing 737 MAX 8 drama: Britain has completely banned them from its airspace, and Elizabeth Warren is calling for the US to do the same.

Culture of Silence: Both young and elderly veterans commit suicide at a higher rate than their non-veteran peers. The Veteran's Administration is trying to mitigate this problem—but the issue might be embedded in military culture.

On the Brexit Brink: British Prime Minister Theresa May is making last-minute legal changes to her Brexit deal to assuage the worries of some members of parliament. The UK is scheduled to leave the EU in about two weeks, so it's crunch time.

It's Mitt! And it can't be unseen.