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Wilson Webb / Annapurna Pictures

Richard Linklaterā€™s adaptation of Whereā€™d You Go, Bernadette drops the epistolary technique of Maria Sempleā€™s book in favor of a more straightforward movie narrative, but this is still a muddled puzzle of incongruous pieces that donā€™t fit together.

As Bernadette, Cate Blanchett is hyper-competent, precise, and a bit bloodless. A brilliant architect whose creativity was stemmed early in her career, Bernadetteā€™s now dedicated to raising her daughter Bee (Emma Branch), tinkering with the crumbling mansion she inhabits with her workaholic tech-bro husband Elgie (Billy Crudup), and irritating her uptight neighbor Audrey (Kristen Wiig, speaking of ā€œwhereā€™d you goā€¦ā€). Her main problem seems to be that sheā€™s so rich that she doesnā€™t need to work, so itā€™s a bit tough to muster much sympathy for distracted, dysfunctional Bernadette.

Sympathy isn't the point of this story, to be sure, but Linklaterā€™s laid-back, generous styleā€”ordinarily such a balmā€”doesnā€™t do Bernadette any favors. He injects no bite into Semple's social satire and no suspense into the movie's third-act mystery of Bernadetteā€™s disappearance. Instead, Linklater wields a gentle, wise understanding of the characters and asks us to forgive their flawsā€”but thatā€™s a tough task, seeing as how theyā€™re all phenomenally wealthy, self-centered geniuses who saunter through an unreal world of privilege and ennui, spouting perfectly grammatical lines that sound plucked straight out of the novel.

There are some good moments. A particularly nasty argument between Bernadette and Audrey becomes the movieā€™s fiery centerpiece, and the loving, meditative way Linklater films Bernadetteā€™s trip to Antarctica (actually shot in Greenland) hints that heā€™s probably got a great ecological movie in him. But Bernadette still feels shapeless and flat, with soft-toothed jokes and head-scratching plot developments. Ultimately, Linklaterā€™s kindness shows throughā€”but the last thing a person like Bernadette needs is for someone to be nice to her.