Trump fanatics take over Capitol building, and... huh. That guys carrying zip-ties. Wonder who he was planning on kidnapping?
Trump fanatics take over Capitol building, and... huh. That guy's carrying zip-ties. Wonder who he was planning on kidnapping? Win McNamee/Getty Images

Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• Not since the War of 1812 have armed terrorists invaded the US Capitol, but it happened today, and frankly—no one should be surprised. Trump's fascist followers descended on the Capitol to protest Congress certifying the nation's electoral votes and Joe Biden's presidency. Chaos broke out around noon after the terrorists (far too easily) pushed through the police line and attempted a coup (inspired by Trump himself), breaching the Capitol building and sending members of congress and staff into hiding. The seditious traitors occupied the main floor as well as the office of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. One of occupiers died after being shot by law enforcement, and only 13 were arrested. Thankfully, Pelosi announced that Congress will resume its electoral count and certify Biden's win as soon as the building has been cleared. There were so many alarming moments—including the Defense Department initially refusing to send out the National Guard, and that it took over three hours to clear the Capitol building—but you can follow along with our live blog which tracked the insurrection moment by moment.

• I'm just going to leave this article right here: "How law enforcement handled the pro-Trump mob compared to Black Lives Matter protesters."

• Meanwhile, desperate Trump followers gathered at state capitols across the country, including in Salem, Oregon where an unlawful assembly was declared, and Trumpers attacked counter-protesters.

• After being begged to talk to his supporters and order them to stop their violent behavior, Trump did what Trump always does: Put out a half-hearted (if that) video expressing his full support for the coup while winkingly telling them to go home. He did a tweet, too.

• In what would have surely been the top story of the day, but was buried alive by the attempted coup: Georgia Democrat Jon Ossoff has been declared the winner of the state's runoff election and together with Raphael Warnock will join a Democratically controlled Senate.

• Veep/Mama's boy Mike Pence finally confessed today he has no power to overturn the election results, despite what Trump has been pressuring him to do. WOW! It took well over four years of being a mewling sycophant, but A HERO HAS EMERGED!

• In what may not have been the best choice, but you have to admit is a pretty sick burn, Joe Biden is planning on nominating Merrick Garland—whose opportunity to be a Supreme Court justice was stolen by McConnell and his corrupt Republican pals—to be Attorney General.

• Another big story that has gone virtually unnoticed: Two detectives involved in the police murder of Breonna Taylor have been fired.

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• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! Tickets are now on sale for the super sexy HUMP! 2021 Film Festival, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets now!

• THE WEATHER REPORT: Heavy rain tonight turns to showers tomorrow with a high of 47.

• And finally... yep, that about sums it up.