James Hannaham’s God Says No might as well be
subtitled Nature vs. Nurture in 302 Pages. Protagonist Gary Gray
was born a big fat homo. Unfortunately for the fragile boxing ring that
is his psyche, he was raised a devout Christian in a conservative
African American community. The gloves come off in the first chapter,
as a young Gary fights to ignore his growing attraction to his roommate
at Central Florida Christian College. Recognizing his homosexual
impulses as the work of a very, very sexy and persuasive Satan, Gary
does his best to overcome his true nature—marrying a woman,
having a kid, entering gay rehab. It’s a McSweeney’s title, so I’ll
leave it to you guess if Gary gets the gay out.
Hannaham’s writing doesn’t benefit from close inspection—when
Gary moves in with a new lover, he thinks: “For a while, our life
together was like that moment when the waiter sets a creamy dessert in
front of you, long before you have to pay.” Hmm, wonder how that
romance is going to end? When Gary is angry, his “blood boils,” and
when he’s depressed? “I would have sobbed, but my sadness was too vast,
too nameless for tears.”
Sure, it reads like a ghostwritten celebrity memoir. But ’tis the
season for filing indifferently written novels as “beach reads.” And
all the elements are in place—sex, drugs, and colorful characters
overcoming Big Issue obstacles. It’s a hero’s quest in which the Holy
Grail is guilt-free anal. File this one as a decent piece of genre fic
in a genre that hasn’t been invented yet.