Carolyn Main

Halfway There!—What's round at both ends and high in the middle? Snoop Dogg standing between two medicine balls. Also, Ohio! Governor John "Welp, I Tried" Kasich signed a bill this month to legalize medical cannabis, making the Buckeye State the 25th state. It won't go into effect for 90 days, and when it does, it will have some restrictions:

Although residents with a doctor's recommendation will be allowed to use cannabis, there will not be any (legal) licensed growers or dispensaries in the state until 2017 or 2018.

Medical marijuana patients will not be allowed to grow their own plants (cough cough—monopoly much?).

Oh, and don't bother investing in any papers or a bong. "The law prohibits the smoking of medical marijuana... but permits vaping products, patches, and certain edibles," according to the Columbus Dispatch.

And if your employer has rules prohibiting cannabis usage, you can still be fired, even with your doctor's recommendation.

Puff, Puff, Lift—I have 387 excuses why I can't go to the gym. "Not being able to get high there" just dropped off that list, at least the next time I'm in San Francisco. The aptly named Power Plant Fitness will open in the Bay Area this summer, and they're catering to the bud-friendly bodybuilder. The gym is the brainchild of co-owner Jim McAlpine, who is the founder of the 420 Games. Known as the "Olympics for Stoners," the games feature obstacle courses, golf tournaments, and their signature event, a 4.20-mile run. ("Wait, I thought you knew where the finish line was, man...") But this is about working out, not toking up.

"It won't be a place to get high and just screw around," McAlpine said on the 420 Games blog. "We are focused on the athletic side, not the cannabis side." The gym will offer a "cannabis performance assessment" to help users determine the best manner and time to ingest cannabis. And San Francisco prohibits indoor smoking, so for now, the only options involve vaping and edibles. McAlpine is working on a deck that would allow smoking.

Mississippi Los Angeles Goddamn—In a surprise that should come to no one who is alive, minorities in California are being cited for cannabis possession at a rate of nearly four times that of whites, reports the Huffington Post. The Drug Policy Alliance (DPA) and American Civil Liberties Union of California gathered data from Los Angeles and Fresno, and came up with some sad but none too surprising conclusions: Black citizens are cited for cannabis possession at four times the rate of whites. As in, one-two-three-four. FOUR TIMES.

Support The Portland Mercury

It seems that things have actually gotten worse for minorities since California passed a reform of their marijuana laws. "The disparity is worse than the rates at which blacks were arrested for simple possession of marijuana prior to 2011, when possession was a misdemeanor offense," wrote Amanda Reiman, California policy manager of the DPA. "In 2010, blacks were 2.2 times more likely than whites to be arrested for marijuana possession." Latinos aren't faring much better, being cited at 1.7 times the rate of whites in Fresno, and 1.4 times in Los Angeles.

The DPA thinks the rates may even be higher than reported. "California has a long history of data collection challenges regarding Latinos, who are often classified by law enforcement officers as white and thus undercounted," wrote Reiman. The hope is that if adult-use recreational cannabis passes on the California ballot this November, the issue of disparate enforcement will be addressed. There is also the hope that we will learn how to treat one another based on something other than skin color, but, you know, I get high a great deal. So don't hold your breath for that one any time soon.