This week, I’m going to fail you as a cannabis columnist.
This is not to say I have accepted a god that frowns upon using a plant that said deity itself created. Nor does it mean the title of this column has changed to “Cokebuzz, the Week in Cocaine News!” (“As part of our 25-part series, this week we try some cocaine, discuss how you can get more cocaine, and then we’re gonna do—that’s right!—more cocaine!!!”)
No, my friends, this week I’ve failed you because I’m unable to do what this column sets out to do: inform you about cannabis matters in an enlightening and hopefully entertaining manner. Let me explain.
Friends lately started asking me, “Hey, so what’s up with Measure 91 and Salem?” For any out-of-state readers, Salem is the capital of Oregon, and it’s where good sense, clear thinking, and hope for democracy in action all go to die a death befitting a Normandy Beach scene from Saving Private Ryan.
My response so far has been a cheery yet pat, “That’s a great question, and say, your hair looks great/you’ve lost some weight/would you like to take some cannabis with me?”
Here’s the thing. I have no… fucking… idea… what is going on in Salem surrounding cannabis issues, and the greatest minds who are there have been unable to explain it to me, despite their best efforts.
