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GETTY / THECRIMSONMONKEY

Happy holiday! Even the most challenged mathlete among us knows that on this week falls 4/20, AKA Stoner Christmas. But why 4/20? What mystical connection does this number have to cannabis? Grab a mop to clean up your mind, because Iโ€™m about to blow it.

But first, letโ€™s clear a few things up. What 4/20 is not? Any of the following bullshit. Iโ€™m not sure how anyone came to the conclusion that it was, but maybe they were high. Some of these do seem like the type of thing concocted by someone sitting around with a Graffix long overdue for a cleaning. Or perhaps someone who has a dream catcher hanging from their rearview mirror. (Yes, I have a problem with that. Itโ€™s a fucking CAR, and you should be awake while operating it, not worried about โ€œcatching dreamsโ€ while itโ€™s in motion. Wise up, hippie.)

Here is a list of things 4/20 is NOT.

Joshua Jardine Taylor is the Mercury's Senior Cannabis columnist and correspondent, and has written "Cannabuzz" since 2015.