The detailed results of our first-ever Weed Survey are out! There’s lots of interesting info there, but I must say that the fill-in answers are my favorite. The one-line descriptions of your marijuana adventures are hilarious—except when they’re totally scary. You should check out the whole thing, but as a bonus, here are some of my favorite descriptions of the dumbest conversations you’ve ever had while stoned that didn’t make it to print:
“Space always wins, dumbass.”
“About a penguin with a top hat waving at me in the Sierra Nevadas.”
“All of them.“
“Asking my buddy if he could remember what I was about to say.”
“Birds: Do they know the freedom flight gives them?“
“Cats and their possible mind reading ability.”
“Contemplating a squirrel’s fondness for blueberries.”
“A dispute over the lyrics of ‘Jingle Bells.'”
“High and using words? Not over here.”
“How many $5 foot-longs you could buy with $100.”
“I don’t remember, dude.”
- ARTWORK BY VINNIE NEUBERG