Actual quote: “Planned Parenthood is aborting fetuses alive to harvest their brains and other body parts. That is a fact.” Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.com It’s pretty strange that Ted Cruz—someone who is not in first place and doesn’t have a hope of amassing enough delegates by the convention—is already announcing his pick for vice president, […]
Election 2016
Posted inNews
Shake Up the City: The Mercury‘s Election Endorsements
LEO ZAROSINSKI IF YOU’RE STILL SHOCKED by the emergence of formerly dark horse candidates like Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump, you shouldn’t be. Their campaigns were brought to life by millions of Americans who are tired of toiling under politics as usual, while change inches forward at a snail’s pace. And if you haven’t noticed, […]
Posted inPolitics
Shake Up the City
It’s the Mercury‘s May 2016 Endorsement Guide!
It’s the Mercury’s May 2016 Endorsement Guide!
Posted inPolitics
Voting Made Easy!
Here’s Your Cheat Sheet For May’s Most Important Races
Here’s your cheat sheet for May’s most important races.
Posted inNews
Hall Monitor: The 48-Hour Solution?
Jules Bailey Says a Controversial Police Policy Is on the Way Out. Is He Right?
Jules Bailey says a controversial police policy is on the way out. Is he right?
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You’ve Only Got ‘Til Tomorrow To Register To Vote. DO IT.
Listen to this creepy gal. Voting time is nearly here, Portland. Ballots begin making their way to you by mail on Wednesday, the same day we’re dropping a definitive guide to your best bets in local races. There’s so much up for grabs in this primary: a new mayor and two city commissioner seats (a […]
Posted inElection 2016
Cruz and Kasich Team up to Defeat Republican Voters (by Losing on Purpose)
Well, this is the end. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com Look, Republicans, it’s time to face the facts about your party: it’s the party of Donald Trump. It isn’t a party he took over, and it’s not an election that he hijacked — you’ve managed to cook up a horrible little petrie dish of cruelty where […]
Posted inPolitics
So Did Ted Cruz Have an Affair or What?
Just imagine what it would be like to look down between your legs and see Ted Cruz down there making this face. Trevcor Collens / Shutterstock.com As Savage pointed out earlier, here are some things that the National Enquirer was right about: the John Edwards affair; Tiger Woods having an affair; Jesse Jackson having a […]
Posted inPolitics
Ted Cruz’s New Ad Is AMAZING
Politico: The Ted Cruz campaign is out with a new attack ad imagining Hillary Clinton and her inner circle sizing up her Republican competition and fretting over how they will ever stop Cruz. The ad is set in what appears to be Clinton’s war room, where her inner circle—fictional Huma Abedin, John Podesta and Robby […]
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Idiots Expect World to Care that they Don’t Want Harriet Tubman on $20 Bill
Ben Carson: never-ending source of words, often assembled into sentences. louise wateridge / Shutterstock.com Hey everybody, aren’t you all clamoring to know what creepy doctor Ben Carson thinks about the pictures on American currency? As you have surely heard by now, Harriet Tubman will be replacing Andrew Jackson on the $20. As for Dr. Carson, […]
Posted inNews
Jessie Sponberg Will Win the Mayor’s Race Easily—If It’s Decided By Good Hip Hop Tracks
Whatever happens on May 17, let it be known that one candidate in Portland’s mayoral race has by far the freshest theme song. Jessie Sponberg’s campaign has released a venerable hip hop track—and accompanying video featuring the candidate nodding his head stoically in the back of a convertible while a collection of local emcees tell […]