OH! WHY HELLO there, monster! I notice you’re new to town, and… oh. I see you’ve brought many of your monster friends as well! THAT’S GREAT. The more the merrier… or in your case, “the scarier,” amirite? High five! Umm… sure, I can high five all your tentacles. Look, as long as you’re here, can […]
Horrors
Today in GAAAAHHH!!: A Horrific Scene from the Upcoming Outcast
The Walking Dead‘s Robert Kirkman has a new horror series set to debut on Cinemax in 2016, and its called Outcast. Based on the Skybound comic, it’s about a young man who has demonic possession problems (been there, done that!) which may eventually bring down the downfall of the planet! If you like super gross-out […]
TV Special Will Bury People Alive for Halloween… BUT THE MERCURY DID THAT ALREADY
To ring in Halloween, the A&E network has what they think is the creepiest idea yet: a two-hour special event called Fear: Buried Alive in which… yep, you guessed it… three people will be buried alive in underground coffins. The show debuts on A&E on Oct 26 at 8 pm, and would’ve been the creepiest […]
Four Dead, 12 Critically Injured in Collision Between Bus and “Ride the Ducks” Vehicle on Seattle’s Aurora Bridge
Four people have reportedly been killed and at least nine 12 critically injured in a collision between a bus and an amphibious Ride the Ducks vehicle on Seattle’s Aurora Avenue bridge. The fire department is evaluating about 50 people. pic.twitter.com/ccU4fihPrJ— Seattle Fire Dept (@SeattleFire) September 24, 2015 Here’s what witnesses told the Seattle Times: A […]
New Ash vs. Evil Dead Trailer LOOKS SO GOOD!
One of the more exciting and fun new series debuting this fall—specifically on Halloween—is Starz’ Ash vs. Evil Dead, starring a still remarkably handsome Bruce Campbell revisiting his camp classic Evil Dead character. As god as my witness you will LOVE this new trailer… that is if you love lots of blood splatters, chainsaw tosses, […]
Portland’s Upcoming Cataclysmic Quake: The First Four Minutes
Thomas James [Editor’s note—As Erik Henriksen pointed out in “Good Morning, News!”, we’re ALL GOING TO DIE. The New Yorker just wrote at length about the big earthquake that’s going to plunge the Pacific Northwest into a hellpool of carnage and destruction, but they only just got wise to what we’ve been telling you since […]
Two Naked Guys Battle (and Get Shocked by) an Electric Eel
The homoerotic undertones in this clip from the upcoming season of Naked and Afraid XL are nearly overwhelming… but mostly just hilarious. In the premiere of this Discovery Channel show spinoff (debuting July 12, 9 pm), two naked chodes are hiking around the wilds of Colombia when they encounter an electric eel in a stream, […]
Man Tries to Leave Elevator; Elevator Has Other Ideas
This is a perfect TV news story, because even though it’s from Seoul, Korea, you don’t need a translator to understand the HORROR of what happened here. A man tries to exit an elevator, which never quite stops (!!) though he luckily climbs back in before getting chopped in half. In the elevator’s defense, it […]
Who Wants to Watch the Duggars Give a Kissing Lesson to their Daughter?
There is absolutely no reason why you should be watching 19 Kids and Counting—the terrrrrrible Christian TLC show featuring Dan Savage’s favorite punching bags, the Duggars. However, now and then it’s okay to open your fingers and take a weeeeee little sneaky peek at the fucked up lives of these people. In this clip, Papa […]
Hannibal Season 3 Trailer
It’s pretty apparent by now that NBC has LOST THEIR DAMN MIND, passing on Tina Fey’s new comedy Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and pushing one of their most interesting and gorgeous shows, Hannibal, to the summer season. (Are they TRYING to destroy the mood?) Anyhoo, at least they’re smart enough to keep Hannibal around, which I’ve […]
France Update: Paris Neighborhoods Fox News Described as “No Go Zones” Are Actually Designated Sites for Government Support
French Ministry of Equality of Territories and Housing Yesterday, I heard from a French acquaintance over Facebook who was upset that Fox News had reported on a scourge of alleged “no-go zones” throughout France following the Charlie Hebdo attacks “where neither tourists nor cops dare enter” and “poor and alienated Muslims have intimidated the government […]
I Never Want to Read Ugly Girls Again, But You Should
FSG I can’t un-read this book. I never want to read Ugly Girls again. The debut novel from Chicago author Lindsay Hunter is a slim, mean book that opens with two teenage girls, Baby Girl and Perry, in the act of stealing a red Mazda. That’s not a spoiler by any stretch, but it is […]
