When my first child was on the way, I had no shortage of advice at my disposal. Books and websites and YouTube videos gave me answers to all sorts of questions, from “What’s the best swaddling technique?” to “Oh dear god! Why is tar coming out of my baby’s butt?” What I was not prepared […]
True Parent
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Ask the Parent!
What’s the proper response to unwanted/unhelpful advice on how to raise your child? Recently, a stranger loudly chastised me in the store after my son slipped off a shopping cart. Then my mom-in-law (a real Bible pounder) said my 13-year-old daughter’s shorts and tank tops were “sexually inappropriate.” These buttinskies drive me crazy and ruin […]
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Sanity-Saving Air Travel Tips!
Air travel with kids can be a slight inconvenience or one of Dante’s circles of hell. Here are some essential sanity-saving tips! 1) ARRIVE EARLY. No more screeching up to the gate at the last second! Allow plenty of time to arrive and for things to go wrong (which they will). Check the airport’s website […]
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Why Talk About God?
Secular Parenting for a Less-Jerkish Future
In our current age of information and globalization, it’s easy for secular people to see the connections between tragedy, ignorance, and religious zealotry. Conversely, the devout may see our global crises as the consequences of the growing distance away from religion. Cynicism (or worse, contempt) can pervade the way we view those with beliefs different […]
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Two Kids are L’il Angels. Two are L’il Devils.
Why All Four are Perfect
If I only had the second and fourth of my four children, I would be the most smuggest mother. From the start, my “Blondies” (a girl and a boy, both with light blonde hair) were what you’d call “easy babies.” Compliant. Cooperative. Sunshine-y. Empathetic and eager to please. Sleep training? A painless couple of nights […]
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A Lack of Education
How One Mom Sparked a National Debate on Teaching Abstinence in the Classroom
In April, Alice Dreger—mom, bioethicist, activist, and professor at Chicago’s Northwestern University—sat in on her son’s abstinence sex ed class at East Lansing High School in Michigan. The misinformation being delivered by the visiting “educators” was so shocking, she began live tweeting it—and her outraged missives quickly went global and started a national debate on […]
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The Saving Grace of Romance-Porn
How Steamy Romance Novels Set My Mojo Free
“Mommy. Mommeeeeee! I needed a wipe and you didn’t listen!” My five-year-old daughter has backed her naked bottom up to me, waving a wet wipe. Once again, I’ve been busted for shirking parental duties while listening to a steamy romance audiobook. This one’s about a young woman whose family died in a flaming car crash, […]
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Cry About Other Things
After Two Years in Prison, a Mother Reunites with Her Three-Year-Old Son
The La Quinta Inn in Bryan, Texas, is pink stucco. The Federal Prison Camp in Bryan, Texas, is khaki stucco. The La Quinta employees wear uniforms with name tags and the customer is always right. The employees at Bryan Federal Prison Camp wear uniforms with name tags but the customers are always wrong. My brain […]
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Parent to Parent
“Don’t Judge, Judy!”
Raise your hand if you sort of despised kids before having one of your own. Oh, please. You can admit it. I certainly did. I didn’t despise individual kids—it was more like I despised them as a concept. I saw children as selfish little aliens who were stealing away my drinking buddies, overrunning the city’s […]
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The Time We Need
Parents Desperately Need Paid Sick Leave. Will Oregon Step Up?
Susan Lund worked off and on at Fred Meyer for about 16 years, and had access to full benefits—at least in theory. But if she wanted a day off to take care of one of her children, or to recuperate from illness herself, she paid a price. Sick days weren’t excused until employees had missed […]
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Raising the Perfect Supervillain
A confession: I have not actually read the full text of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendations on screen time for children. I’ve never felt the need, because from the moment my son could lift his head, I’ve received enough dire caution from doctors, teachers, and urbanMamas posts (read aloud to me by my loving […]
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Ask the Parent!
“I Hate My Teen’s Boyfriend!”
My daughter is 13 years old, and just got her first boyfriend (he’s 14). I’m not a jealous dad by nature, but I am very close to her, and I’ll be honest… I hate her boyfriend’s guts. I checked him out on social media, and monitor all her texts (don’t judge, she knows I’m snooping), […]