Raymond Chandler, one of the most prominent mystery authors of the 20th century, author of The Big Sleep and The Long Goodbye, was just as retarded for cats as most of the Mercury staff members and Blogtown readers. Here's him writing to a friend about his cat, Taki:

Our cat is growing positively tyrannical. If she finds herself alone anywhere she emits blood curdling yells until somebody comes running. She sleeps on a table in the service porch and now demands to be lifted up and down from it. She gets warm milk about eight o'clock at night and starts yelling for it about 7.30.

That sounds about right. And if you didn't think that was ADORABLE, here's part of a letter Chandler wrote as Taki to another cat:

Come around sometime when your face is clean and we shall discuss the state of the world, the foolishness of humans, the prevalence of horsemeat, although we prefer the tenderloin side of a porterhouse, and our common difficulty in getting doors opened at the right time and meals served at more frequent intervals. I have got my staff up to five a day, but there is still room for improvement.

Quotes taken from Raymond Chandler Speaking, which is, sadly, out of print.