Our cat war with Seattle isnt over.
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  • Our cat war with Seattle isn't over.

If you thought Portland's battle to keep our King of Cats crown over Seattle was over, you're wrong! Last week, my genteel and principled colleague, Rich Smith, esteemed books and national politics writer for our sister paper the Stranger, dealt the latest blow in our long-running feud over which of our cities is the cat-friendliest (and helpfully summarized our conflict, for those of you just now getting on the catwagon):

My eloquent and gracious colleague, Megan Burbank, esteemed arts editor for the Purrtland Mercury, urged the single women of Portland to adopt more cats despite the fact that a recent survey found Portland to be Cat-Lady Town, U.S.A. I said no way, those numbers are bunk, we have more cats, and anyway this whole cat lady thing is sexist. Burbank said wutev, the numbers are solid, but good point re: the patriarchy, let's count the men. I said let's just count everybody, which I did. She said Slog poll numbers are bunk but okay she was going to count everybody, too. I said all of our numbers are bunk but wutev Seattle has more cats, f u. She said no no f u here's a bunch of adorable photos of Portland kitties.

Portland may have pics, but Seattle's got vids. Behold, a live-feed of cats playing around at PAWS Cat City, a cat-only adoption spot located in the University District. The cats you see in the video are ready for adoption. They have names, they have personalities, they have hopes, and they have dreams.

If you want to adopt one of these adorable cats, then start by filling out this survey so the cat yentas can match you with the critter of best fit. (You can also fill out this survey at Cat City's store in the U-Dist.)

Well, I hope all those cats got adopted, because I'm not a monster, but also because SEATTLE'S GOING TO NEED THOSE CATS AFTER THIS.

I have one word for Smith: Moshow. First discovered by KGW, then picked up by local media great and small, Moshow is Portland's very own cat rapper. He's also an Instagram star, sharing cat-people posi-vibes with 24,000 followers. Here he is, discussing his worldview on KGW's Live at 7:

You would have to be a real asshole not to love Moshow, who rejects the term "crazy cat ladies." "Beautiful cat ladies," he says in the KGW segment. "All cat ladies in the world are beautiful."

The rapper's also doing his part to end the stigma against cat men, with #MenLoveCatsMonday, a weekly call for cat men to stand and be counted. "It's to get all the guys in the world to stand up and show your love for cats," he told KGW. "I get a lot of messages, that people say, 'You changed my whole outlook, I'm not afraid to show my love for cats.' And I want guys to man up, and show your love for cats, don't be embarrassed."

Moshow's cats also have a clothing deal with Simply Sphynx, which designs outfits for sphynx cats, who are hairless.

In conclusion, I'm sorry, Seattle, but do you have a cat rapper too? I didn't think so. I defy you to find a cat-people ambassador as magnanimous and pure of heart as Moshow. GOOD LUCK.