Lil Wayne Award for Best Stand-Up Comedian Alive: Louis C.K.: I saw loads of terrific comedy this year and none of it held a candle to C.K. at the Aladdin. The two hours felt like five minutes—it was that delirious. And real—at no show did I learn more about myself.

Local Comic Who Needs to Get off His Grandma's Couch in Vancouver and Move to LA and Become Famous Already: Richard Bain. Dude, you are so funny it's not funny. And I don't want you to go, but I want you to get the dough you deserve. Or at least not to look back and wonder. Capeesh?

Three Young Comics Ready to Take the Next Step: Phil Schallberger, Anthony Lopez, Christian Ricketts. Give these guys shows.

Scaring the White Man with Dreams of Revolution: Hari Kondabolu. If you don't like to learn something while you laugh, then fuck you too.

Best Show Put on by Andy Wood: The Cavalcade that closed Bridgetown this year was astounding. Every comic that went up took the needle a little higher—as in sports, when players perform up to the competition. Kyle Kinane, James Adomian, Tig Notaro, Hannibal Buress, Brody Stevens, Greg Behrendt, Maria Bamford, and more.

Venue That Needs to Drop the Two-Item Minimum Because it Scares People Off: Helium Comedy Club. As long as the drinks stay reasonably priced—which they are—patrons are likely to buy AT LEAST two over the course of a 2.5-hour show. Telling them they must strikes a rebellious nerve.

Venue That Needs to Have Local Headliners One Night a Week: Helium Comedy Club. One-off shows could and would create local comedy stars. They have the talent. They're here. They're ready.