In this week's Letters section, Mercury readers fail to recognize the point of Ann Romano's One Day At At Time, we stand accused of having published a potentially age-inappropriate Valentine (hey, one can legally love a lot of 16-year-old things, like pet tortoises and cars), and someone finally steps forward to defend the honor of Diamond Darcy's. Also, Portland's new nickname is "P," apparently. Pass it on. And finally, a reader steps forward with the bizarre and sweeping theory that the majority of Portland music sounds like King Missile:

DEAR MERCURY—[A] hipster is a fan of bad indie music, which this town produces in mass. The Chores, the Shaky Hands, all flavor-of-the-month bands soon to be forgotten. And the old respected acts are a joke; Pavement imitated Too Much Joy, but the latter was funnier. Colin Meloy sounds like the guy from the Dead Milkmen. The Thermals, yuck, they make Green Day seem like Surreal Dadaists. The rest of the PDX scene wants to be King Missile. Yet there was not a review of the best album of the last decade: I Killed the Zeitgeist by Nicky Wire. It figures he towers over all the indie mediocrity your music critics worship.
-P Jacks

To which a reader this morning wrote in to respond:

Whether you love or hate Portland music and all its indie-hippers, the influence of the seminal rock band King Missile cannot be denied—"P Jacks" is right. Put simply, King Missile rules. I don't know how many times I see a band and think, man, those could all be King Missile songs. But how can you ignore a song as timeless as "Jesus Was Way Cool" when the waves it created ripple through modern music? It's amazing how "Detachable Penis" is still as relevant today as it was in the '90s. My band, The Duke Rockets, just embraces the influence. Imitation is the first step to origination, I always say.
-Andrew Hanna

"I don't know how many times I see a band and think, man, those could all be King Missile songs." Really??? You know more than one King Missile song?