Great news, buttfuckers! Remember that touchy-feely sounding all-night improv contact jam and possible orgy you bastards voted overwhelmingly to send me to? Well, I went to register for it, and guess what? Despite all appearances online to the contrary, it ain't happenin'! So, since one of the other three options already happened yesterday, that only leaves one: Shpongle Presents the Shpongletron Experience. I have no idea who or what a shpongle is but apparently it makes music. And I am going to experience it. Along with several hundred all ages ravers. And if you think I'm getting away with something here, please know that I deeply do not want to experience any shpongling tonight—although I may end up drinking enough to shpongle on my dress a little.
I hope the 25 people (out of 146!) who voted for this one are happy.