Marjorie and I are pals. We even hang out when we aren’t working sometimes! That doesn’t mean I don’t secretly loathe her, though.
Which is why I’m DELIGHTED to offer you, dear Blogtown readers, the chance to inflict misery and sadness upon her! Welcome back to Discomfort Zone, the (sort of) new Blogtown series where YOU get to force a Mercury editor outside of their comfort zone… and then they have to write about it!
Here are three events the Mercury editorial staff has decided would make Marjorie profoundly uncomfortable:
Contact Improv InTouch All-Night Open Jam
From “the creator of the Wild Grace™ and DanceQuest™” comes an all-night event in which participants “come together to explore the worlds of touch, deep listening, intuitive expression, and conscious connection,” according to the Craigslist page. “The studio is ours for the entire evening. We dance as long as we like and go home in sweet exhaustion.” That’s right, Marjorie: Intuitive expression and conscious connection with strangers. All night long. Followed by sweet, sweet exhaustion. (Wait. Is it just me, or does this sound like it might be an orgy?) SomaSpace, Sat July 16, “8 pm-LATE”
Jo Jo Jorge Falcon
Ezra recommended this one. “This is like Mexico’s Robin Williams or Howie Mandel,” he wrote. “All in Spanish. Will be super awkward. Look him up on YouTube!” I did:
Yes. Sitting through that would, indeed, be super awkward. (NOTE: Thanks to my investigative journalism skillz, I have deduced that Marjorie speaks Spanish at “about a second-grade level”—meaning she knows just enough to not be able to tune out Señor Falcon’s routine, but not quite enough to actually get any of his jokes.) Roseland Theater, Thurs July 14, 8:30 pm
Shpongle Presents the Shpongletron Experience
“Not prepared to leave us hanging, electronic music pioneers Simon Posford and Raja Ram have continued to push the envelope and break boundaries to create yet another sonic masterpiece: the much-awaited fourth Shpongle album, Ineffable Mysteries from Shpongleland,” proclaims the Crystal Ballroom site with nary a hint of irony. “There are languages here that Shpongle fans will know and love as much as their previous work, and yet there are some massive leaps forward in terms of production techniques, sonic trickery—” Oh, fuck off. Sorry, but there’s no way I am reading even one more word of that bullshit. Look: It’s an all-ages rave. It will be full of the same people Marjorie got to hang out with when she had to do this. This thing would drive anyone, especially Marjorie, to madness. Crystal Ballroom, Fri July 15, 9 pm
Make me proud, Blogtown! Or at least vote better than you did last time.
While the Contact Improv sounds interesting, wasn’t Marjorie the one that got sent to the swingers club during WNE and had a woefully uneventful evening? With that in mind I can’t, in good faith, vote to send her to another I-hope-she-gets-groped-inappropriately event…
All three look really wonderful. I think everyone but Marjorie wins on this one.
There’s a clear winner here. Sorry Marjorie! The dance event is going to be terrible.
This is more like it! Have fun getting touched by a yoga jedi or whatever that is.
Marjorie is going to a dance class!
Um, duh.
I’m sorry she always gets the dangerous all-nighters….. but not so sorry I didn’t once again vote to send her into another potentially dangerous all-nighter.
Yeah, this is a pretty easy choice. Kiss all enjoyment of the weekend goodbye, Marjorie! (Did I say that? I meant: I’m sorry, I feel for you, thanks for being a good sport and wanting to keep your job.)
Paula Byrne, the woman putting together that creepy-sounding bad-touch dance thing, looks kind of hot in her profile pic. I’m just sayin’.
http://www.somaspace.us/bios.html#paula
@Reymont: I’m beginning to doubt your judgment.
This “bad art/music: idea sucks. It’s the same lame shit. Send her to an MMA event and after party. Epic hilarity ensues when the horrifying realization sinks in that one idiots sporting a tribal armband is an ex. btw I don’t see whats ballsy about spending the night around wasted hippies. It”s called Reed College. I’m sure many of you know what i’m talking about
@reymont…you are either one very lonely fella or resemble Darth Vader
@Cerulean, swingers club was my event last year. Marjorie had to go to some sketchy festival in the woods.
@The Showstopper: Either?
@Alison…my bad…in that case, we should *totally* send Marjorie to the Jam!
@The Showstopper Actually, I did attend and graduate from Reed College. Last year’s Worst Night Ever was much less edifying and I didn’t even get college credit for it.
I know Marjorie it was what we call a joke ,albeit a cheap one(and no fair using words like “edifying” not all of us went to some fancy ass liberal arts school. Some of us went to school to play hockey and learn to be farm animals). In fairness I would not want to be around a bunch of stoned hippies either. Well not without a large club and a firehose. @Reymont….I’m sure you have a great ……Personality! Hey, looks are overrated. Just ask my ex girlfriend