Whatever holiday(s) you celebrate, this week likely presents some interesting challenges—there's lots to "do," but also some unfilled hours during which your family will be antsy and all your typical haunts will be closed and/or packed. We've got you covered with out-of-the-house ideas to fill the next seven days with more than balled-up wrapping paper—the films are gory, the cocktails are festive, and the yoga class includes hangout time with a tortoise. 'Tis the season!

Monday, December 22

The Jinkx & DeLa Holiday Show

After eight years of extravagant holiday shows from drag queen icon besties Jinkx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme, I think it’s time to ask: Is this just The Nutcracker now? Do we still need The Nutcracker? In this theatrical tradition, the pair interview sentient snacks before being kidnapped and held for ransom by holiday traditions. Imagine if that lay on the shoulders of a junior high drama department. Well, it’s not a canon work yet; it changes every year. Don’t miss the singing-dancing sweetness of these two very different queens serving Christmas—because I’ll be telling your kids this is The Nutcracker. (Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7 pm, $54.50+, more info, all ages) SUZETTE SMITH

Sean Jordan’s Holiday Soiree

Feeling overwhelmed by the stress of the holidays? SAME, BABY. But here’s your opportunity to take a quick break and enjoy some great comedy from some of the city’s best comedians and hilarious alums! Host Sean Jordan (All Fantasy Everything, Mercury Geniuses of Comedy) presents this fun variety show that will lean heavily into standup, with such hot-shit special guests as Ian Karmel, Kyle Kinane, Kate Murphy, Steven Wilber, Phil Schallberger, and probably more. It’s the ho-ho you’ve been waiting for! (Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, 7 pm, $30.99, more info, 21+) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Lady Snowblood

Set in Meiji-period Japan, the gory revenge in Toshiya Fujita's '73 film Lady Snowblood is enacted by a young woman whose parents were murdered by a criminal gang (played by Meiko Kaji, one of cinema history’s coolest). Good for her! Quentin Tarantino (boooo) cited this film as a major inspiration for his Kill Bill saga, but that’s the least interesting thing about its lore—Lady Snowblood is based on an early ‘70s manga series, doused in more blood splatter than you can possibly be prepared for, and features some of the chicest sartorial choices put to celluloid. (Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $10-$12, more info, not rated) LINDSAY COSTELLO

Also worth it:

EJ Marcus, Mississippi Studios, more info
The Zillennial comic whose mildly uncomfortable, finely tuned impressions you’ve almost certainly come across on Instagram Reels will visit Portland, delivering a tight hour of comedy and probably dragging us a little in the process.

Tuesday, December 23

Festivus at Sleigh Love

Hey Love’s Christmas spectacular—complete with maximalist kitsch and wintry cocktails—runs all month, but on December 23, the bar celebrates the Seinfeld-popularized secular holiday of Festivus. Jewish-inspired Chinese food will hit the menu, and of course, the airing of grievances around the Festivus pole will be a key part of the evening. Two of my favorite things are a commitment to the bit and giving people a piece of my mind, so you can count me in. (Hey Love, 920 E Burnside, 3 pm-12 am, hours vary, more info, 21+) JANEY WONG

Silent Night, Deadly Night in 35mm

Upon the '84 release of Silent Night, Deadly Night, people got fussy. The film inspired what Variety described as a “rising chorus of protests" against its possibly "traumatizing" depiction of a splatter-prone Santa, and Siskel and Ebert shambled onto their soap boxes to shame the film's production team, too. In other words, it's an interesting watch if you're into gnarly, mean-spirited horror. Fans of the Terrifier franchise should firstly seek therapy and secondly dig this. (Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $10-$12, more info, not rated) LC

Also worth it:

Seek out the Santa clones, secret location, more info
Local artist Chris Willis has once again hidden an army of miniature Santa statues at a secret location, a tradition he started in 2011. Head to his Instagram for a hint, then seek out the jolly dudes, lit from 4 to 11 pm daily through January 1.

Wednesday, December 24

George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker

If you can’t tell a plié from a pirouette, the name George Balanchine might not mean much. But the famed choreographer held court for nearly 30 years in New York City, establishing the iconic steps and positions that define traditional ballet to this day. His legacy lives on in Portland as the Oregon Ballet Theatre presents The Nutcracker. Attendees can expect to see what makes this ballet so timeless, as a trained troupe of dancers translate the whimsy and intrigue of a young girl’s visit to a magical kingdom into a stunning wintertime display. (Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 12 pm, $39-$175, more info, all ages) SS

Thursday, December 25

Marty Supreme

Because he is nothing if not vaguely unpredictable, Josh Safdie (who is notably not working with his brother at the moment) has directed a ping pong drama about a table tennis star pushing his luck to get rich and/or famous in the 1950s. Marty Supreme stars Timothée Chalamet as the titular Marty, whose character is based on the real-life hustler, ping pong medalist, and dedicated fedora wearer Marty Reisman. Cast is weird and stacked, in typical Safdie fashion: Gwyneth Paltrow, Tyler, the Creator, and Fran Drescher make appearances. Read the full review in the Mercury. (Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, various times through Jan 1, 2026, $8-$11, more info, R) LC

Shane Torres

It’s old-home week for beloved former Portland comedians (see Sean Jordan’s Holiday Soiree above) and those who have been kickin’ around the city for a while will be thrilled to welcome the return of the fantastic Shane Torres. This hilariously caustic comedian has a whip-smart brain that refuses to suffer fools gladly, and he’ll be bringing the laughs for three big shows following Christmas day—or exactly when you’ll absolutely need it. (Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Dec 26-28, various times, more info, 21+) WSH

Also worth it:

Peacock Lane, Peacock Lane, more info
Portland's very own "Christmas street" has, in keeping with its near century-long tradition, gone all out with holiday decor. Rudolph, R2D2, and Snoopy tend to make appearances among the row of tidy Tudor homes, where hundreds of walkers admire lights and take selfies. (Expect to move at a glacial pace.)

Friday, December 26

Dear Santa

Already a cozy haven year-round, Dear Sandy has crafted a holiday menu highlighting winter ingredients and nostalgic flavors in merry and bright cocktails like “Cookies for Santa,” which stirs peanut butter whiskey with molasses bitters. Step into the bar on a grey afternoon for coffee or dark night for cocktails while vintage Christmas decorations twinkle under antique light fixtures in the well-adorned space. (Dear Sandy, 2800 NE Sandy, 8 am-12 am through Dec 31, more info, 21+) BRI BREY

Also worth it:

The Phantom Carriage, Academy Theater, more info
If your concept of a good time is a 1921 silent Swedish film inspired by a Dickensian ghost story, then has the Academy Theater got the screening for you.

Saturday, December 27

A Charlie Brown Christmas Live

Charlie Brown didn’t have a SAD lamp to brighten his winter nights, but he’s been warming the hearts of audiences everywhere in the 60 years since the Peanuts animated special first graced our TV screens. In this staged adaptation, Charlie Brown attempts to enliven the holidays with a toothpick-thin Christmas tree and a plan to stage a holiday pageant starring Snoopy, Woodstock, and the rest of the Peanuts gang. Theatregoers beware, no one will believe that’s just an icicle dripping down your cheeks when you reach the finale of this holiday classic. (Keller Auditorium, 222 Southwest Clay, 3 pm, $45.68-$97.83, more info, all ages) SS

Also worth it:

Snake Yoga, Hisss Reptile Shop, more info
What better way to decompress from Christmas than with a few asanas among reptiles? This video of a recent Hisss yoga session suggests that you can wear a snake around your neck if you so desire… or just give a lizard a few head pats.

Sunday, December 28

Christmas Festival of Lights

Don your hat and gloves and gather your loved ones for one of Portland's favorite holiday traditions. The Festival of Lights transforms the Grotto into a magical place where twinkling lights and joyful songs guide your way. The plaza tent will host puppet shows and story time at the beginning of every hour, followed by the Grotto Carolers and their merry tunes towards the end of each hour. Don't miss the Chapel of Mary's "cathedral-like acoustics" with nightly performances from local choirs. There's just something about holiday music—even post-festivities—that really brightens up our dark, wintery nights. (The Grotto, 8840 NE Skidmore, 5-9:30 pm daily through Dec 30, $7.95-$18.95, more info, all ages) SHANNON LUBETICH

Looking for even more events happening this week? Head on over to EverOut!