I say “We” because I could not have won Barfly's 2010 Most Good Writer award without you. I say “We” because I work for the best fucking paper in the city with amazingly smart, funny, and talented people who inspire me to work harder every day. I say “We” because when I get discouraged while writing a review disguised as a narrative about Greek gods, I see your sweet perplexed face, dear reader, and I soldier on.

So what do you get when you win a Barfly award? A lovely plaque and an incredibly porn-tastic gift bag:


I think it's only fair that I share the bounty with my fellow Mercury nominees Matt Davis and Erik Henriksen. If it hadn't been for their relative apathy, I'm sure I would not have won this award [sorry about the kitten hazing thing, guys. I take back everything I said]. I wonder which one I should give the butt plug to?

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to nurse this hangover and look for a Double Down.