I know you think you can’t be improved, but you’re wrong. Here’s the things you need to work on in 2010: not acting so goddamn Christ-arded when you’re asked to sing in the choir, giving half of everything you own to the “missionaries,” changing your horrible taste in music, “bad words,” and “humming.” (To help remind you to be “humble”… GET IT?!? Thanks Jesus.)

And thanks EIT!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=I8JwQ6vmHV8%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)