FRIDAY, MARCH 20
MUSIC—The Ceremony of Sludge mini-fest returns for the fourth year—and its first at the Tonic—of ear-melting aural lava, with two packed nights of some of the heaviest, sludgiest bands around. Tonight, don’t miss the firestone metal of Holy Grove, and tomorrow night Diesto detonate their explosive doom. Plus lots of other heavy hitters! NED LANNAMANN
Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy, Fri-Sat, 9 pm, $7 a night
COMEDY—From her amazing Comedy Central show Inside Amy Schumer to her upcoming film Trainwreck (directed by some Apatow guy), Amy Schumer is currently killing it. It’s easy to see why: She’s one of the smartest, funniest people on the goddamn planet. See you there. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, $46.50-54.50
SATURDAY, MARCH 21
SOCCER—The professional women’s soccer team the Portland Thorns are kicking off 2015 with an exhibition game against the University of Portland Pilots. Who will win? The professionals or the amateurs? It’s the first preseason game for the Thorns, while the Pilots are taking on Seattle’s footie stars the Reign next week in another exhibition game. So don’t feel guilty about rooting for the Thorns this go-round, and cheer for the Pilots next week. COURTNEY FERGUSON
University of Portland’s Merlo Field, 5000 N Willamette, 7 pm, $5-10, all ages
MUSIC—It was a scant year ago today when XRAY.fm launched themselves into Portland’s heart. With its diverse mix of progressive talk and off-the-grid music from local bands and very informed DJs, XRAY has done a great job celebrating our town—so let’s celebrate them with this fun first anniversary show featuring Minden, Holiday Friends, Secret Drum Band, and more! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $10
SUNDAY, MARCH 22
MUSIC—Just like every month, the Merc and Mississippi Studios are rarin’ to give you a free Sunday night show. This Ear Candy local showcase sees Snowblind Traveler take the stage with songs that evoke whiskey-blurred campfires and stars looming large in a chilly night. It’s folksy Americana, flecked with yearning. Perfect for kissing the weekend farewell. COURTNEY FERGUSON
w/Grand Lake Islands, Robin Bacior; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE
COMEDY/WRESTLING—In a world of Nice Guys™, Mick Foley is the real deal. The three-time WWE champion’s got a mane of dark curls and a heart of gold: He’s a big fan of Tori Amos, advocated for victims of gay-bashing and sexual assault, AND ONE TIME HIS EAR CAME OFF. Dude’s got some stories, is what I’m saying, and you can hear ’em tonight. MEGAN BURBANK
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, 7 pm, $27-35 (you might have to wrestle someone to get tickets)