FRIDAY, JUNE 26
MUSIC—Shhhhhhh… cease your rumbling punk and metal for a moment and appreciate the delicate side of live music. Disjecta’s longstanding two-night Quiet Music Festival will feature stripped-down, gentle performances from Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Secret Drum Band, Sonny Smith, Amenta Abioto, and more. MARJORIE SKINNER
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Fri-Sat, 7 pm, $10-12 ($16-18 for both nights), all ages
MUSIC—Willie Nelson is as real as country gets. Willie Nelson will remind you why you like America. Willie Nelson will remind you what happiness and heartbreak feel like. Willie Nelson has more unforgettable songs than just about anybody. Willie Nelson requests that he be rolled up and smoked when he dies. Willie Nelson will remind you why life is worth living. ERIK HENRIKSEN
w/Alison Krauss & Union Station; Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, 6:30 pm, sold out (you know how to find tickets), all ages
SATURDAY, JUNE 27
NEKKID—It’s Portland’s version of the World Naked Bike Ride, featuring more than 10,000 cyclists in the buff hauling ass around town to promote bicycle vulnerability and demote pollution-causing transportation. AND DON’T MISS the Mercury‘s Naked Bike Ride Afterparty at White Owl Social Club featuring discounted drinks, DJs, and semi-clothed dancing! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Ride starts at Colonel Summers Park, SE 17th & Taylor, 9 pm, FREE, all ages, pdxwnbr.org; afterparty at White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th, immediately following the ride, FREE
COMEDY—With jokes about the joys of divorce and the cultural expectation that every unwed lady who dies alone MUST own a cat, Jen Kirkman is the anti-Cathy “ACK!” comic. Her smart, mordant, vaguely existential brand of humor is a sad/funny reminder that we’re all basically alone, right? But we might as well laugh during our stint in this mortal gutter. MEGAN BURBANK
w/Bri Pruett; Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7 pm, $15
SUNDAY, JUNE 28
MOTORCYCLES—Portlanders love their bicycles, but cram an engine on one and that bike just got way better! The Oregon Motorcycle Expo is an all-ages event that features motorcycles (duh!), food, stuff to buy, and tattoos! Bring cans of food to donate to the Oregon Food Bank, but leave your wallet at home because it’s FREE! SHELBY R. KING
Oaks Amusement Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park, Fri 6-10 pm, Sat noon-10 pm, Sun, noon-6 pm, FREE, all ages
SPORTS—So maybe our beloved Timbers haven’t had the “best” season so far… but all that changes tonight, when our boys put some serious HURT on those despicable butthole jerks from Seattle, the Sounders. Come support this juicy and highly necessary rivalry—and if you’re looking for the perfect chant… how about this one? KILL! KILL! KILL! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Providence Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 4 pm, $40 & up, all ages