FRIDAY, AUGUST 21
MUSIC—Not sure if we’re a family newspaper (?), but there’s no fucking reason we’re gonna play coy about telling you to get off your goddamn ass to go see the colorfully named, magnificently rocking Fucked Up. They’re the shit! Moniker aside, these glorious bastards play epic punk rock that’s actually more profound than profane. Penisballs! NED LANNAMANN
w/And And And, Wimps; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $12 ($3 w/RSVP at redbullsoundselect.com)
MUSIC—Portland’s most populist music festival is on us again. The second iteration of Festicide touts “no wristbands, no sponsors, no nonsense” as an organizing philosophy. It’s nine shows over three days, minimal cover charges, and one guaranteed all-ages show a night. Tonight? We like Danava at Black Water Bar (8 pm, all ages), and Hurry Up at Killingsworth Dynasty (8 pm). Each show is $5 or free. DIRK VANDERHART
Various venues, Fri-Sun, see our Live Music listings for a full schedule
SATURDAY, AUGUST 22
THEATER—The good people of PHAME, which runs arts education programs for developmentally disabled adults, debut an original musical this weekend. Up the Fall features a cast of actors with and without developmental disabilities, and boasts music and lyrics from delightful local singer/songwriter Laura Gibson. It’s also a welcome disruption from summer’s nonstop Shakespearean fixation. MEGAN BURBANK
Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison, Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, see phamepdx.org for more showtimes, through Aug 29, $22-28
FOOD—You won’t win the Zach’s Shack Hot Dog Eating Contest. You won’t even place. But you don’t enter the thing for victory. No, you’re plunking down $8 to gorge yourself on entrails for 10 minutes because life can’t always be pleasant and beautiful. It needs pain. It yearns for nausea. (To be fair, you can get those same sensations from the safety of the audience.) DIRK VANDERHART
Zach’s Shack, 4611 SE Hawthorne, 4 pm, $8 to enter (space is limited)
SUNDAY, AUGUST 23
MUSIC—This weekend might be your best last chance at outdoor summer music festival fun—MusicfestNW spans three days with full, unforgettable lineups like today’s, which includes Pure Bathing Culture, the Helio Sequence, the Tallest Man on Earth, and Modest Mouse. Why, that’s not modest at all. MARJORIE SKINNER
Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, Fri 5:30 pm, Sat-Sun 12:30 pm, $45-60 ($140 three-day pass), all ages
COMEDY—I feel weird about Bridgetown Comedy Fest vet Howard Kremer. The stand-up comedian/podcaster/rapper is undeniably hysterical, with his shouty bit about the perils of summer and punching an octopus in all eight of its armpits. But he’s like an eye puzzle, a hot man combined with an old man with a stuffy nose, a peculiar combo that somehow works. Go see the Who Charted? comedian for yourself in this teeny-tiny venue. COURTNEY FERGUSON
The Waypost, 3120 N Williams, 8 pm, $10