Credit: Natalie Behring
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Natalie Behring

On an unseasonably warm Saturday morning, Archbishop James Cloud and I meet at a Starbucks in Bethany, a small suburb north of Beaverton. Bishop Cloud wears a clerical collar, with a crucifix hanging from a golden chain around his neck. He is in his mid-40s, has a playful smile, and could otherwise be mistaken for the dungeon master of a local D&D group. But weโ€™re not here to play games. In less than an hour, Iโ€™ll be accompanying Bishop Cloud a half-mile down the road to watch him perform a home exorcism.

Finishing our coffee, I ask Bishop Cloud what to expect. Itโ€™s my first exorcism, after all, and I donโ€™t know the protocol.

โ€œIf you have a faith, pray,โ€ he tells me. โ€œGet yourself centered, ready to rock, because if you go in unarmored and without faith, you can be attacked, as retribution for what Iโ€™m going to be doing. It can get scary.โ€

I nod solemnly. I wonder if my faith is sufficient. I canโ€™t remember the last time I attended church, and lately my faith has been more like acid refluxโ€”stronger some days than others. Nevertheless, I do what I can to center myself, to get ready to rock. I ask Bishop Cloud if he expects much resistance or struggle during todayโ€™s exorcism. He explains that the dark entities, such as the ones we might soon encounter, respond only to force. Occasionally they put up a hell of a fight.

โ€œIโ€™m not there as a negotiator,โ€ he says. โ€œIโ€™m not there as, ‘Hey, Iโ€™m your buddy, letโ€™s have a nice conversation.โ€™ Iโ€™m there to kick ass and take names. Iโ€™m there as a soldier. Iโ€™m going into battle. And, by God, I ainโ€™t giving them any quarter.

โ€œI like a good fight,โ€ he continues with a laugh. โ€œBring it, son. Letโ€™s do this. Letโ€™s get it on like Donkey Kong.โ€