Lick lick lick lick lick lick OH GOD I CAN'T STOP MYSELF lick lick lick lick lick.

So we were all at Sarah Mirk’s going away party last night, and naturally, the topic came up of dogs licking peanut butter off of genitalia—and how, you know, that’s gross and dogs should know better. But then I made the wise observation that dogs are so obsessed by peanut butter that it is genetically IMPOSSIBLE for them to stop themselves from licking peanut butter off of anything!

We then spent the next 20 minutes trying to come up with a single thing that a dog would NOT lick peanut butter off of—and we couldn’t think of a single thing. For example, vomit. A dog would happily lick peanut butter off that. The closest we came was either a burning hot radioactive isotope, or a pile of broken glass… but the dog would still happily lick both of those things before the pain would eventually force him to stop, or die in the process.

So a query, Blogtown: WHAT WILL A DOG NOT LICK PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF? Science awaits your answer.

Lick lick lick lick lick lick OH GOD I CANT STOP MYSELF lick lick lick lick lick.

  • Lick lick lick lick lick lick OH GOD I CAN’T STOP MYSELF lick lick lick lick lick.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

7 replies on “What Will a Dog <i>NOT</i> Lick Peanut Butter Off Of? A Blogtown Query”

  1. If we are talking my dog, it would have to be the bath tub. Not even a pig’s ear covered in peanut butter could get her to willingly get in that tub.

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