GO AHEAD, admit it: You've wondered how those cute little goats in Lents would taste in a tortilla or a curry. Well, wonder no more! Finding good places to eat the flesh of the Horned One is easier than you might think.
When you must get some goat, Autentica Mexican Cuisine's chivo comes slow-roasted with sweet red onions and potatoes, served shredded to perfection in a fiery broth of red chili and vinegar with a roasted jalapeño, and prepared by folks in chefs' whites. 5507 NE 30th, Tues-Sun 5-10 pm, weekend brunch 10 am-2 pm
Located across the street from the Lents Farmers' Market, El Pato Feliz has both goat tacos and restorative bowls of birria de chivo, sure to cure any hangover. The former are slightly gamey, complemented nicely by the lurid slather of achiote; the latter is a brothy hellfire with bone-in hunks of Our Dark Lord. 5824 SE 92nd, Mon-Wed 10 am-10 pm, Thurs-Sun 9 am-10 pm
Ten years ago I honeymooned in Fiji. We were killing time before our return flight by tagging along with our cabbie while he ran errands in Nadi. It was Ramadan, approaching sundown, and he needed to stop and pray, so he ducked into an Indian restaurant where he knew the owner. On his way to the back room, he told us to try the goat. The goat mint handi at Siri Indian Cuisine comes very close to that for me; extremely tender and delicately spiced in a mint-based green curry (we got medium hot and it wasn't spicy at all). One noticeable difference is that instead of being served by an old Fijian lady, this was served by Jared Leto's Indian doppelgänger. 1323 NW 23rd, daily 11 am-10 pm
Dwaraka Indian Cuisine's home-style goat curry is legit, with super tender meat, delicately spiced and luxuriating in a Punjabi-style tomato-based sauce. Just like any stewed goat dish, you'll have to pick out the teeny-leetle bones, but you know what they say: closer to the bone, sweeter is the meat. And where else can you find goat curry in a lunch buffet? 3962 SE Hawthorne, daily 11 am-2:30 pm & 5-9:30 pm
Portland's oldest Vietnamese restaurant, Yen Ha, has an entire goat (dê) section on their Vietnamese-only menu, while #140 and #141 on the regular dinner menu will also set you up. Goat hotpot (lu dê) and spicy goat red curry (dê xào ln) might not sound especially seasonal in the warmer weather, but they will both get you sweating. 6820 NE Sandy, Mon 3-11 pm, Tues-Thurs & Sun 11 am-11 pm, Fri-Sat 11 am-midnight
Hanoi Kitchen's mì dê tiêm (#C4) is an egg noodle soup with a rich meat broth lightly scented with medicinal goji berries and jujube. Atop the nest of golden noodles are tender-sweet hunks and riblets of braised goat, cubes of tofu and wrinkled sheets of tofu skin, shiitake mushrooms, bok choy, and taro, with a handful of cilantro on top. It's served with a lime wedge and a bowl of fermented tofu dipping sauce; this shit is dank as fuck, all creamy textures and earthy umami-funk, with little flecks of chili for good measure. 7925 NE Glisan, Tues-Sat 10 am-9 pm, Sun 10 am-8 pm
And let's pour out a little for Simply Vietnamese on NE 82nd and Thompson, whose spectacular goat curry and the juiciest, most delicious luc lac were oddly juxtaposed by the most depressing restaurant interior I've ever seen. We hardly knew ye, Simply Vietnamese. No seriously, we hardly did.
A rich ragout of tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, and cilantro, the goat bil riz at Karam Lebanese and Syrian Cuisine comes with basmati rice, but you can sub couscous for a buck more AND still get that fluffypuffy pita bread. They also have a goat casserole which includes carrots and potatoes, in case you need a bit more carb love in your bowl. 515 SW 4th, Mon-Sat 11 am-9 pm, Sun 2-8 pm
Although by all appearances the Somali restaurant Alle Amin has closed (or else moved all of their furniture to an undisclosed location), Safari still has you covered. A few years ago the spot was called "Indian Ocean Restaurant," and had a little East African market next door. Goat liver with jabati (chapati; a flatbread), pita, or regular bread is a breakfast item, or you can get roast goat with carrot-flecked rice or ugali (a sort of thick cornmeal porridge-bread like maize-based fufu, used as an edible scoop for stew). Eat with your hands for the full effect. Don't be alarmed to see spaghetti on the menu (colonialism!), but I wish it came with goat meatballs. 7815 SE Powell, daily 11 am-midnight