The Lamp Tavern | 3023 SE Milwaukie

Once a month, the Lamp hosts the Friends with Benedicts stand-up comedy show, serving laughs along with your eggs. In fact, the Lamp is probably best known for their benedicts: Classic (ham and hollandaise), Cowboy (barbecue pulled pork and crispy fried onion), and Flo’s (bacon, wild arugula, and tomato). But above all, the Lamp specializes in serving sizes no single person should eat alone. I ordered the Fried Chicken & Bacon Biscuit Stack, just to test the waters. Plenty of restaurants serve gravy on the side, but in this case, the gravy was in a soup bowl, because the mountainous stack of food it accompanied had to be strategically dismantled to fit in your noise hole. There are a few lighter choices, but why bother when $9 will buy you food for a week? D. MARTIN AUSTIN Brunch hours: Sat & Sun 10 am-2 pm, $

Food Ford & Drink | 2505 SE 11th

The entertainment at this brunch refers to the jazz guitar stylings of Tim Roth—every Sunday from 12:30 to 2:30 pm—but the food/drink of this brunch is available anytime Ford Food & Drink is open. Roth sits on the small Ford stage—looking like a reclining Sam Elliott—trickling out his gentle tunes. Ford sits on a busy corner and has big, beautiful windows that encourage people-watching. The artist studios above and the galleries alongside stock the café with cute, designer-glasses types—on their laptops or drawing in sketchbooks. I do not recommend the bland food, so remember what Beyoncé would do: Bring some hot sauce in your bag. SUZETTE SMITH Brunch hours: Mon 7 am-7 pm, Tues-Fri 7 am- 10 pm, Sat 9 am-10 pm, Sun 9 am-7 pm, $$

Punch Bowl Social | 340 SW Morrison

I tend to have a bias against chain restaurants in shopping malls, but the brunch at Punch Bowl Social is really, really good. My favorite brunch meal is the Quinoa Hoe Cake Benedict: two perfectly poached eggs with hollandaise, next to sautéed potatoes with strips of bacon mixed in, all on top of a quinoa flatbread (the “hoe cake”). Make sure to do the bloody mary bar: They’ll give you a tall glass with vodka and ice, you fill up with different bloody mixes and excellent selection of extras like beef jerky and other meats, a bunch of different vegetables (pickled or not), different salts and spices—pretty much anything you’d expect. The place is known for its games—classic video games, pool, darts, bowling—so you can do that if you’re not quite ready for your post-brunch nap. DOUG BROWN Brunch hours: Sat & Sun 10 am-3 pm

The Acropolis | 8325 SE McLoughlin

There are few things Portlanders love more than brunch and strip clubs. But do these two great tastes taste great together? The Acropolis has long been famous as the place where you can sink your teeth into an affordable steak while feasting your eyes on naked bodies, but if you don’t want to wait until the sun goes down to satisfy your carnal desires, Acropolis opens its doors at 10:30 am. (Yes, there are dancers this early, and yes, you are still expected to tip.) Your options range from the usual suspects of steak, pancakes, waffles, or a 10-egg omelet for the brave-hearted. I went with the eight-ounce sirloin and a couple of scrambled eggs, with a side of crispy hash browns, and a bottomless cup of surprisingly decent coffee. The salad bar is also available in the morning, but, be honest, you didn’t come for salad. SANTI ELIJAH HOLLEY Brunch hours: Mon-Sat 10:30 am-2 am, Sun 11 am-2 am, $