Arguably the worst medication to have unknowingly fail on millions of Americans is, oh Gawd, poised to fail on millions of Americans.

Alabama-based pharmaceutical company Qualitest is issuing a recall of 1.4 million packs of birth control pills. If you take these types of birth control pills, you may already be pregnant: Cyclafem 7/7/7, Cyclafem 1/35, Emoquette, Gildess FE 1.5/30, Gildess FE 1/20, Orsythia, Previfem, and Tri-Previfem.

The pills were packed incorrectly so that the pills go out of order during the course of the month. It's not clear whether that means women are taking the placebo pills during some days or whether they're taking the wrong dose of hormone, but either mix-up could leave a lady unfortunately fertile. If you've been using the faulty pills, switch to condoms or other non-hormonal birth control and get more info at the company's site.

Meanwhile, the countdown to massive accidental pregnancy lawsuit nine months from now begins immediately.