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Remember when People for Portlands last ballot proposal failed? They apparently dont.
Remember when People for Portland's last ballot proposal failed? They apparently don't. Mercury Staff

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! If you're anything like me, you have no time for shenanigans today... so what do you say? LET'S JAM SOME NEWS!

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Okay, so let me get this straight: The local anti-tourism, anti-homeless political group, People for Portland, got slammed last week for submitting a ballot measure that county lawyers deemed was unconstitutional (for trying to redirect homeless money that Portland had previously voted for). So what did P4P do today? They submitted another ballot proposal... that's almost identical to the first, unconstitutional one! (I'm starting to doubt whether this dark money group knows what they're doing.) Our Alex Zielinski has more!

• In a related story, remember how Mayor Wheeler got a bee in his bonnet a few weeks ago, and banned all homeless camping in high-traffic corridors? Well, OPB investigated to see how the mayor's grand plan is working, and... spoiler alert... things could be going better.

• Good news for you parents of young kids: Preschool for All enrollment is now open in Multnomah County for children who will turn 3 or 4 years old by September 1. There are 670 slots available that cover 36 preschool programs at 48 different locations across the county. Best of all, all programs are FREE. NICE!

• Hey soccer fans (and fans of human rights)! You'll be happy to know that our beloved Timbers and Thorns are coming together on the pitch on April 27 to play a special co-ed charity match, as a fundraiser to benefit the people in war-torn Ukraine. Admission is free, but pay what you can for a great cause!

IN NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• According to officials, the suspect in the Brooklyn Subway shooting that left at least 10 people injured has been captured—partially thanks to a tip from the gunman himself. The 62-year-old is being charged with committing an act of terrorism and could be in prison for life.

* The US is sending an additional $800 million in aid to Ukraine to help with their war effort. Meanwhile, Putin's troops continue to move into the eastern portion of the country as President Biden has accused the Russian leader of "genocide."

• Due to the rise in Omicron subvariant cases on the East Coast, the CDC is extending their federal mask mandate on planes and other public transportation for an additional two weeks.

• Hundreds of demonstrators in Grand Rapids, Michigan have taken to the streets to protest what happened in a recently released video that depicted a cop shooting a Black man, Patrick Lyoya, in the back of the head following a traffic stop.

• AHOY THERE, STONERS! The SPLIFF Film Festival—featuring short, hilarious, trippy, and thoughtful mini-movies about cannabis and made by stoners just like YOU—is coming to Revolution Hall for one night only on Saturday, April 16! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW! (And speaking of the munchies, your favorite week of the year is almost here: It's the Mercury's PIZZA WEEK featuring $3 specialty slices at 28 locations across the Portland area, starting Monday, April 18-24. Eat 'em up!)

• And finally... look. It's pretty obvious this lion was just looking for exact change.