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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Oooooh-weeee, it's pretty hot for autumn, I'd say! Temps topped out at 90 today, but the cooling trend starts tomorrow with a high of 82, and then cloudy showers mid-week with temps only reaching... 69. NIIIIICE. Now here's some NIIIIICE NEWS!

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Workers at the Burgerville over at SE Powell and 25th announced their intention to join the Burgerville Workers Union—the first fast food labor union in the country. What pushed them to this decision? Our Alex Zielinski explains it all for you.

Bad news for anti-Charter Reform naysayers (such as Commish Mingus Mapps and his wealthy business community pals):

• Oregon's public defender shortage does not seem to be improving, as more people charged with crimes—roughly 1,300 across the state—are in a legal purgatory waiting for their cases to be heard, and it's causing them a lot stress and heartache.

• Also in high demand: Emergency medical service (EMS) workers have left the profession in droves, and now officials are sending out an alarm that the state is nearing a "breaking point."

• The New York Times has a damning report out about one of the Northwest's biggest hospital systems, Providence, which they say charged poor Oregonians and Californians thousands of dollars and sent them to collections—even though they had qualified for free health care. NOT. A. GOOD. LOOK.

• Today in "Good luck, Woodburn Mullet Man": "Woodburn man hopes to win Best Mullet in America contest."

• Oh, and don't you dare forget that the always-deliciously fun Portland Mercury WING WEEK starts this coming Monday, October 3! Six scrumptious wings for only SIX BUCKS? Yes, please, YES.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• First things first... today NASA fucked up an asteroid. Hell yeah, fuck you, asteroid—don't be coming up in OUR house!

• Potential bad news for Biden's student loan forgiveness idea—the Congressional Budget Office has released an estimated cost for the plan which could reach roughly $400 billion, which you know will launch Fox News into apoplectic fits. However, even if that figure is correct—and it might not be—the price tag could be worth it for the boon it could give to the economy as well as people of color who have been disproportionately harmed by these loans.

• Putin continues to be bitten in his ass following his unwise decision to draft a new slew of Russian men to fight in his stupid war in Ukraine. Now he's facing anger, demonstrations, and even violence from the people in his country. However, Putin does have one new fan, Edward Snowden, who you remember fled the US after leaking highly classified surveillance programs: Today the president has declared Snowden a Russian citizen.  However, before you get too excited....

• Hurricane Ian is barreling toward Cuba and the Florida coast, with evacuations being planned or already underway.

• Today in "Fuck Brett Favre": "Text messages show Brett Favre sought welfare money for a football facility."

• And finally... got "bad" bananas in your house? Here's the rap that you need to hear.