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Good Afternoon, Portland! Show of hands, who has a wildfire smoke headache? ✋ Let's be cranky at some MF-ing news!

IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Today's top story is SMOKE. Wildfire smoke from the Nakia Creek Fire, in Southwest Washington has turned our city and much of the Willamette Valley into a hazy, unhealthy mess. Expect it to stay hazy AF until the blessed rains return on Friday. KIND OF SPICY: Clark County Fire Marshalls are seeking tips about a Subaru, whose occupants may have info about the start of the blaze.

• Also filed under toxic air: Last year, a judge dismissed a lawsuit launched by several environmental organizations, which alleged that DHS and the Portland police violated the law with their enthusiastic deployment of tear gas during the Portland protests. Now in appeal, the complainants argue that—even two years on—DHS owes the people of Portland an environmental impact analysis and a full list of chemicals used in the city.

• On Friday evening, a Portland officer shot a member of the public. More than 48 hours after the Portland Police Bureau was required—by their own policy—to release the name of the involved officer, they have not. This morning the bureau affirmed it is "continuing with the decision to not release names for the moment." Read News Editor Alex Zielinski's report on why that's NOT GREAT for civil liberties. NOT LOOKING TOO GREAT!

• If the Rene for Portland campaign said it was hacked, no one would believe it. But I still think it's the way to go here:

• In-theater Halloween movies have been sparse this season. But a new feature from "Nightmare Before Christmas" director Henry Selick opens at the Hollywood this week, and it was co-written with Jordan Peele.

• In this week's Savage Love, Dan dives into the science of  “sex headaches.” Could mind-blowing orgasms be bad for your health? Does the reader have a rare allergy to their own sperm?

• Fingers crossed that mind-blowing orgasms are not bad for our health, the Mercury's special one-night only screening of HUMP! 2022 returns on Wednesday, October 26—featuring hot (and sometimes hilarious) short porn flicks wherein quite a few people experience mind-blowing orgasms. Get those tickets before they sell out.

• And HEY! If you're in the mood for some free tickets to Ramy Youssef or Grateful Shred at Aladdin Theater the Mercury has some extras we want you to have. Enter before Thursday to win!

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS: 
• The new US quarter looks neat, but I have some type gripes about that tall "quarter dollar" typeface—what's more important is that the portrait of Anna May Wong will be the first of an Asian-American on US currency.

• Today President Biden promised that the first bill he sends to Capitol Hill in 2023 will be one that writes abortion into law. And its up to voters to make sure they elect enough pro-choice candidates to pass that law, he continued. Also today, the New York Times openly called voters apathetic and checked out.

• Speaking of elections, this year Republicans in at least six states have introduced bills that would have done away with machine vote tabulation. Are we looking at the latest monkey wrench vs. people who are busy and just want to vote? 

• In closing, are you getting a ton of sales emails ahead of the nation's terrible shopping season? It's not just the holiday creep. A bunch of retailers have too much inventory!

@washingtonpost Many U.S. retailers are kicking off holiday sales earlier than ever, in hopes of clearing their warehouses enough to accommodate a new round of winter orders. #holidays #inflation #consumers ♬ original sound - We are a newspaper.