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Good news: Part-time domestic terrorist Ammon Bundy tossed in jail.
Good news: Part-time domestic terrorist Ammon Bundy tossed in jail. JUSTIN SULLIVAN / GETTY NEWS

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Hope you enjoyed that mini-summer we had yesterday, because we're returning to cloudy... cool... and wet, with highs in the upper 40s this weekend. But you'll have this NEWS to keep you warm!

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum is suing the Center for Covid Control—that super shady company that set up COVID testing sites around the country, and three in the Portland area—accusing it of deceptive marketing and violating Oregon’s Unlawful Trade Practices Act, which protects against deceptive business practices. Our Isabella Garcia has the details.

• It's always a good day when Ammon Bundy is sent to jail! The Idaho gubernatorial candidate/part-time domestic terrorist who was recently found guilty of trespassing at the state's capitol was slapped with a contempt of court ruling for failing to complete his community service hours. His reason? "Bundy argued his work for his campaign for governor counted toward the 40 hours of community service." HA-HA-HAAAAA! Love it. Enjoy your 10 days in jail and $3,000 fine, ding-dong!

• A surge of Avian flu cases is sweeping across the country, and is already having a deadly effect on birds on the East Coast. Experts expect the flu to eventually reach Oregon, and are warning chicken owners (which makes up half of Portland, right?) to be extra vigilant.

• Hey film lovers! You don't wanna miss the new mind-blowing flick, Everything Everywhere All at Once, which Matt Baume calls a "boundlessly inventive experience, touching family drama, adventure, sci-fi voyage, and love story." It's playing now, so check out the Mercury review.

IN NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• Ukrainian officials are saying that at least 50 were killed and 100 were injured in a Russian missile attack on a Kramatorsk train station. The wounded and dead were evacuees trying to escape the city.

• Probably due to a furious backlash from a justice-minded public, the Manhattan DA is backpedaling on previous insinuations that he would end the criminal investigations into Trump's shady financial dealings, and he promises the work is continuing.

• COVID cases are once again on the rise across the country and particularly in Washington, DC, as Nancy Pelosi, Attorney General Merrick Garland, Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo, and members of Congress have come down with the virus.

• Shitty Republicans being shitty again: "Alabama Legislature votes to ban gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth."

• AHOY THERE, STONERS! The SPLIFF Film Festival—featuring short, hilarious, trippy, and thoughtful mini-movies about cannabis and made by stoners just like YOU—is coming to Revolution Hall for one night only on Saturday, April 16! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW! (And btw, you can still stream the very sexy 2022 edition of HUMP all through the month of April!)

• And finally...ME—straining to get into the weekend.