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Good Morning, Portland! Everyone knows that "Kiss Them for Me" by UK goth punk new wave band Siouxsie and the Banshees is about Jayne Mansfield, but what if it were actually about Jesus Christ? I cannot think of a more Christ-like thing than "Kiss them for me, I may be delayed." In nomine mater et filia spiritus sancti—now here's the news!


• Nothing says summertime like ZERO PERCENT CONTAINED. The Willowcreek Fire, in Eastern Oregon, now covers 40,000 acres, signaling a grim open to Oregon's wildfire season. Seems related: earlier this week, Bike Portland compared the Biden administration's plan to cut gas prices to "outright climate arson."

• OPB reports that 80 incarcerated people at a federal detention center in Sheridan are on hunger strike over detainee treatment—the center holds those who have been charged but not convicted of crimes. Reports from inside allege poor medical care and 21-hour a day lockdowns.

• As local weather continues to avert its eyes from hot-headed Monday mistakes, don't forget that the first of Kickstand's Comedy in the Park series takes place this Friday—and it looks to be a lovely day for it.

• The Portland Horror Film Festival presents a hybrid (in-person and online) event again this year. Founded in 2016, they were one of the few festivals to make a full jump to streaming in 2020, which allowed the fest to retain their remote component the following year. Portland Horror's 2022 programing has all the found footage fright and demonic buddy comedy horror catharsis you could wish for—film critic Chase Hutchinson has the lowdown on what films he thinks are especially worthy.


• In Good Morning to Everyone Invited to Join NATO news, today Finland and Sweden were formally invited to join the North Atlantic Alliance. Yesterday, Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan agreed he would no longer block the addition, as Finland and Sweden agreed that they would act against organizations Turkey considers terrorist organizations—like the PKK—and allow extradition from their Nordic states to Turkey. The New York Times called this a "more muscular NATO," which seems like an unsubtle jab at the far less muscular—by comparison of both physique and spirit—President of Russia, Vladimir Putin. Mr. Putin's plan to splinter Europe has failed in a myriad of ways, even as his forces continue to invade Ukraine and pummel it with violence.

• Another installment in our recurring column Who's Mad at Nancy Patricia Pelosi Now?—the US House Speaker took communion (gasp!) during a papal mass in Rome. She wasn't supposed to because she supports abortion and privacy rights. In San Francisco, Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone wants to pull Pelosi's sacrament access. In Catholic school, we stole the wafers, and ate them on the field, where we also smoked. Your ceremonies lay in dust, my friend.

• We haven't released the names of businesses participating in the Mercury's 2022 NACHO WEEK just yet, but we want you to know that it's in the works.

• Finally, here's another installment in Cam Sullivan-Brown's delightful What Her Favorite Artist Says About Her:

@_itsjust_camm Lemme know if im right and who’s next #musictok #music #relationship ♬ original sound - _itsjust_camm