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Good Morning, Portland! Areas of Europe are breaking heat records, but what about us? We're looking at highs of 92 today,  and hitting 100 on the regular all next week. This is simply unacceptable.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Let us now speak of famous bagel men. Eater PDX reported yesterday on the death of Spielman Bagels co-founder Rick Spielman. Spielman was an engaged and interesting man who I had the pleasure to run into a few times—sometimes at my regularly occurring bagel hang, but more often at local arts events where I generally asked to shake his hand because those bagels are so darn good.

• Back on the beat of obnoxious men, who offer nothing of value to our world, Patriot Prayer leader Joey Gibson and one of his right-wing group's members Russell Shultz were cleared of riot charges yesterday by a Multnomah County judge.

• OPB reports that the city auditor’s office says Portland is slowly chipping away at a goal  the Bureau of Development Services set for itself last year—taming the new residential and commercial building permits system.

• It's going to be HOT today, but nowhere as bad as it's going to be next week. Lucky for us all that the Mercury's Summer of Slushies provides frosty alcoholic slushies for just $6 through August 14! I raise this childish-looking glass to yee and wish thee godspeed on thine journey to freeze both inhibitions and brain.

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• “We never thought the fires would reach us,” said Christine Bertrand, a resident of Gironde, France who was evacuated Monday night, as a thick, black cloud of smoke engulfed the area. The New York Times reports that thousands of firefighters in the south of France have been fighting wildfires there for eight days, as heat waves are being broken in France and the UK. Wildfires continue to rage, in unprecedented numbers, all across Europe.

• A large walrus is sinking boats in Norway:

• What in tarnation? The Associated Press reports that refugees from Mariupol, who had their city shelled and invaded by Russia, are now being forcibly transferred by to Russian cities. Two Million Ukrainians have been essentially stolen and shipped—undergoing forced, harrowing, and deadly travel—and as many as 100,000 are being sent to Russia's most remote and impoverished regions.

• These LGBTQ+ legal conflicts expressed through Marvel gay wedding discourse really hits with me, and I assume everyone else. 

@washingtonpost The House will also vote later in the week on legislation that would protect access to birth control and protect health-care providers from penalties for administering it. #lgbtq #wiccan #hulkling ♬ original sound - We are a newspaper.