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Good Morning, Portland! Want to watch a comedy show that is (in the words of the 41 mathematician sages) "all killer no filler?" You're in luck because the Mercury's live, local comedy showcase night— Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy—has returned. Tickets are on sale now and going fast!

IN LOCAL NEWS:
An abandoned church in downtown Portland caught fire last night, resulting in a three-alarm fire. The building—formerly Portland Korean Church—had been abandoned since 2015 and the site of a two-alarm fire in 2020. Although PFR had the blaze contained by around 8 pm, the bureau warned that "fire apparatus will be blocking the intersection of SW 10th and Clay for the night and into the next day."

• More fire news. Willamette Week's Sophie Peel reports that three teenagers were indicted yesterday—on a total of 14 charges—for allegedly starting fires around Portland. Some of the burned objects: "a derelict building owned by Grace Lutheran Church in the Montavilla neighborhood, a commercial building along Southwest Barbur Boulevard... a box truck along Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard and... an industrial warehouse in Northeast Portland."

• Post-crime checklist: wallet, keys, phone

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• Have you been following the bizarre Moscow, Idaho murders with interest? Well, get ready for a whole lot of nothing! A judge issued an order Tuesday evening, to restrict police, prosecutors or defense attorneys commenting on the case until the court reaches a verdict. 

• Also in NOT OMINOUS AT ALL:

• Remember those half-nude Italian teenagers in the 1968 Franco Zeffirelli adaption of Romeo and Juliet? Well, those actors—now in their 70s—are suing Paramount, accusing the film production company of sexually exploiting them and distributing nude images of adolescent children. Olivia Hussey (Juliet) was 15 at the time and Leonard Whiting (Romeo) just 16. 

• And finally, some predictions: