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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Whoopee-doo, get ready for a mostly dry week with partly sunny skies and highs in the mid-to-upper 40s! Now let's drop in on some occasional whoopee-doo NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Sad news for Oregon basketball fans: Legendary Blazer announcer Bill Schonely—who coined the name "Rip City"—passed away at the age of 93 on Saturday.
Portland Lunar New Year festival highlights traditions, celebration against backdrop of Los Angeles tragedy https://t.co/owYJwYOhQq— The Oregonian (@Oregonian) January 23, 2023
• A story that made Portlanders lose their GOT-DAMNED MINDS this weekend: During the Rose City Dog Show, a thief absconded with a van carrying four show dogs—three Scottish terriers and one cairn terrier—and a frantic citywide dog hunt was quickly underway! Happily, all the pooches were safely recovered after the thief abandoned the van and a good samaritan alerted the cops. Moral of the tale? In Portland, DO NOT FUCK WITH DOGS!
• The Oregonian isn't exactly known for their thoughtful columnists, but their decision to regularly spotlight local advocate and smarty-pants Candace Avalos was right on the money. Check out her newest clear-eyed piece which recounts the wins Oregon progressives made last year, and what we need to do to face the challenges ahead.
The menu Akadi PDX's Chef Fatou Ouattara unveiled in the fall retained customer favorites, like the spectacular suya chicken wings and pepper fish, and expanded to offer smoked goat egusi stew and purple cabbage fufu.https://t.co/jVTJUatZTs— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) January 20, 2023
• Oregon lawmakers are considering a bill to outlaw...*double take*... “unlawful kangaroo exchange?” This is news to me, but apparently kangaroo skin is used to make soccer cleats—yes, even those made by Nike—which are sold by the bushel here in Oregon. (Warning: This story contains an unnecessary number of kangaroo puns. 🦘🙁)
Let's go, smarty butt! 🤓 It's time to play the new edition of POP QUIZ PDX. This week, see if you can correctly answer questions about local exploding whales, mysterious disappearing beer fests, and... what ARE we going to do with your dead body? 💀https://t.co/uSOK1GMgSZ— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) January 22, 2023
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• Another senseless gun tragedy: Ten people (reportedly all of Asian descent) were murdered and at least 10 others were injured by a gunman following a Lunar New Year event at a dance studio in Monterey Park, California on Saturday night. According to authorities, the suspect—72-year-old Huu Can Tran—shot and killed himself after being tracked down and stopped by police.
The shooter in California allegedly used a Cobray M11 9mm semi-automatic weapon, which allows a killer to fire 30-round magazines in rapid succession.— Corey Ciorciari (@CoreyCiorciari) January 23, 2023
The weapon is illegal in nearly every developed country except the United States. https://t.co/EUDWe1dgT3 pic.twitter.com/b2Xlxv8Exa
• The only positive news from this sad story: A 26-year-old man wrestled the gun away from Tran when the suspected murderer entered yet another dance studio 20 minutes after killing 10 people, saving countless more lives.
• Pro-abortion activists across the nation marched in dozens of cities yesterday on the 50th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, demonstrating against the Supreme Court and hypocritical Republicans who continue to put people's lives in danger while stripping away fundamental rights. Veep Kamala Harris joined the fray in Tallahassee, Florida, where she implored marchers to stay strong and keep fighting, because “we are on the right side of history.”
the Comstock Act — an obscure 1873 law banning the mailing of "lewd" and "immoral" and "indecent" things, including drugs related to abortion — was rendered moot by Roe v Wade. now conservatives want to use Comstock to block abortion pills https://t.co/7q7mcXhJtA @imillhiser— Rachel Cohen (@rmc031) January 23, 2023
• Spotify is the latest big tech company to make mass layoffs; they're getting rid of 6 percent of their workforce, which translates to roughly 600 people.
• I love Maya Rudolph! And yet... what?
A message from M&M'S. pic.twitter.com/EMucEBTd9o— M&M'S (@mmschocolate) January 23, 2023
• And finally... first thing on my to-do list for this week? CALL ME A HUSBAND!
just learned about the iowa husband calling competition pic.twitter.com/iu5BxFy4wG— matt (@mattxiv) January 20, 2023