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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Get psyched, pizza lovers! Because in just a few days, on Monday April 17, the Mercury's delicious, gut-filling PIZZA WEEK returns, featuring $3 creative, one-of-a-kind slices at 36 locations! "Are you kidding me??" "NO, I AM NOT!" "I love it! May I also have some NEWS?"

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Remember back in 2020 when it seemed that racial justice was at a turning point, and the majority of Portland was here for it? But then the city's wealthy freaked out, and went about destroying Portland's reputation because they saw this movement as a direct threat to their livelihood? This story is very much related to that: The local chapter of the NAACP was making great strides in the area of social justice, until new leadership came along and is seemingly siding with Portland's wealthy conservatives and their city council puppets. Now many progressives and Black folk in the community are worried that all their hard work is being erased. Check out this must-read, banger of a story by our Abe Asher.

• Another flashback: In 2021, Portland Police Officer Zachary DeLong shot and killed Robert Delgado, a man in mental distress who was waving around a fake gun in Lents Park. Yesterday, lawyers for Delgado's son said they are filing a wrongful death lawsuit against the city, saying that DeLong should have recognized that Delgado was having a mental health crisis based on his training. He did not, and now a son is without his father. Our Courtney Vaughn has more.

• More cop-related shenanigans: ShotSpotter, the controversial gunshot detection technology that the city is all horny for, is rebranding and changing its company name to "SoundThinking"—coincidentally right after new, incoming Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson promised to end ShotSpotter's contract with the city, and the company's stock plummeted. (Life does indeed come at you fast.)

• Speaking of life coming at you fast—particularly in the case of anti-abortion activists—here's an interesting nugget of a fact from OPB: "A study found an increase of 270 abortions per month across the states of Oregon and Washington since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade." I'm sorry, but... this is NOT what they wanted, correct?

• Happy first birthday to Jolene, the Oregon Zoo's absolutely adorable baby orangutan! "(Sings) You smell like a monkey, and you look like one toooooooo!" (Jesus, guys... I meant it as a compliment.)

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Surprise! While local wealthy conservatives may like you to believe otherwise, Portland is not the only city where people fled the downtown core to move to the suburbs. According to a new report, a whopping 2 million people have moved out of downtowns nationally (including Los Angeles, New York City, and Chicago) between 2020 and 2022. Why? Here's a paragraph to ponder:

[Experts ascribe] some blame for rising rents to real estate investment trusts, companies that buy up properties in hot markets and raise rents according to sophisticated algorithms, pushing lower-income renters out of the market. 

• Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is vowing retribution following the release of video that purportedly depicts an "Ukrainian captive" being decapitated by a Russian soldier. 

• According to the Federal Reserve, inflation has dropped to 5 percent—down from 9 percent last summer—but don't go out and buy all the eggs just yet! Experts say that such staples as food and rent are still too damn high, and inflation still needs to drop to 2 percent to return to a manageable situation.

• NPR, clearly having enough of Elon Musk's bullshit, has decided to leave Twitter after it was incorrectly, and idiotically labeled "state-affiliated media" by the failing social media platform.

• And finally... me, when I see a Girl Scout with an armful of cookies coming to my door: