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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! If you liked yesterday, you're gonna love TODAY which will feature a balmy 75 degrees and sunny skies. Then if you love today, you're going to flip ass over teakettle for TOMORROW which will be sunny and 80! And THEN, if you flip ass over teakettle for... sheesh, you get the idea. So let's flip ass over teakettle for some NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Last night thousands of Portlanders (and admirers from afar) attended a memorial service for legendary drag queen Darcelle (AKA Walter Cole) at the Arlene Schnitzer concert hall. The evening was filled with songs, laughs, and love, which provided a fitting tribute to the person who meant so much to so many—and especially our city.

• Next Monday, DA Mike Schmidt and city leaders will be teaming up to announce the formation of two new task forces that attempt to tackle car and retail thefts—both of which have been surging over the past two years. Warning! Also making an unwelcome appearance in this story: the shady doorknobs behind the dark money group "People for Portland" who get rich from using high crime rates to inspire panic in the locals, who in turn vote conservatives into decision-making positions in city government. You know... kind of like the current city council?

• Power company PacifiCorp is on trial for alleged negligence that led to the 2020 wildfires which destroyed thousands of homes, but the way their lawyer sees it, their actions were actually “extremely admirable” before and during the fires. Ahhhhh... the old "tomato-tomahto" defense.

• Oregon distilleries want to market their admittedly delicious booze to the rest of the world and is requesting state money to form an independent Oregon Spirits Board to spread the good word. But, BUT, BUT! Not everybody loves the idea—particularly addiction experts who wonder why the state is considering forking over big bucks to promote alcohol consumption. (That tracks.)

• Montana Republicans have introduced a slew of terrible, regressive bills meant to put transgender adults and kids through HELL... while also restricting the free speech of a Montana's transgender representative. Our Vivian McCall took a deep look at the situation and files this—frankly frightening—report.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Supreme Court Justice John Roberts is refusing to testify before congress about ethical lapses within the court (*cough* Clarence Thomas *cough*), claiming that the principles the justices use to self-police themselves is working just fine, thankyouverymuch. 🧐

• Get ready for the shock of your life: Now that the Proud Boys were charged with seditious conspiracy for their role in planning the January 6 domestic terrorist attack against our nation's capitol, they're suddenly screaming, "It wasn't us... it was TRUMP!" (Such honor among thieves.)

• Speaking of dishonorable thieves, mere hours after House Speaker Kevin McCarthy boldly announced he was refusing to make any further changes to the GOP's debt ceiling bill... you guessed it! McCarthy caved to his fellow loud-mouth Republicans and their demands. (Saaaad tromboooone.) The vote could happen as soon as today.

•  👀

• Regulators in the UK have hit the brakes on Microsoft's acquisition of video game maker Activision (which owns such popular games as Candy Crush, Call of Duty, and World of Warcraft), signaling they've had enough of monopolistic big tech companies getting even bigger.

• And finally, me going through the rest of this week like....