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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! It's warming up again today to a confusing and balmy 72 (!) degrees with partly sunny skies, and a chance of a storm late in the day. Welp, that's May for ya! And now, here's some partly stormy NEWS.


• The embattled Oregon Secretary of State, Shemia Fagan, announced she will be resigning from her office effective May 8, following reports that she had taken on a moonlighting consulting job with a chain of cannabis dispensaries at the same time her office was conducting an audit of the industry. THIS IS A BUMMER ON MULTIPLE LEVELS, which includes 1) rest assured a Republican would never resign over this type of ethical breach, and now Democrats have lost a smart, progressive voice that was otherwise doing a great job, and 2) probably not much will be said or done about the fact that Fagan was only making $77,000 per year as the SoS. And to make that little as a single divorced mom trying to support her family in Portland's expensive market, WHILE ALSO carrying the burden of one of the most important state government jobs? That is a fucking ridiculous, untenable position to be put in, and this is exactly why we have a lack of diversity in government, and the reason it's largely run by rich, white misogynists. /END RANT.

• I'm still too mad to enjoy thinking about this, but OPB has a roundup of possible, soon to also be underpaid candidates who could replace Fagan. Maybe read it when you're ready.

• Phew. In other news, a Portland protester—one, who it should be noted, was an exception rather than the rule—has been ordered by the court to pay $20,000 total in restitution to Starbucks and Portland's Estate Jewelry Co. for shattering their store windows during a demonstration in May 2021. He also made a video threatening Mayor Wheeler, and set a dumpster on fire downtown. Besides the fine, he has also been sentenced to five years of probation. 

• Oregon lawmakers have been busy bees, passing a gun control package that would prohibit the ownership or sale of so-called "ghost guns," raise the purchasing age of regular guns to 21, and okaying the ban of concealed weapons in public buildings or on adjacent grounds for cities and counties. (Republicans hated this, naturally.) Meanwhile, the House also passed a reproductive health care bill that would require Medicaid and private insurers to cover certain gender-affirming procedures, as well as allow minors to get an abortion without getting prior permission from their parents. (Let's see how Republicans felt about that one... yup, hated that one too! SO WEIRD.)


• Putin is claiming that Ukraine forces sent a drone to attack the Kremlin and kill the Russian leader—an accusation Kyiv denies, but nevertheless Putin is still labeling the action as "terrorism" and promising retaliation. (Wonder if he knows about the large number of Russians who don't like him either?)

• Several people—including the suspect's supposed wife—have been arrested following the capture of Francisco Oropesa, who is being charged with the killing of five neighbors at his home in Texas. 

•  Today in "Thanks, Republicans!": Apparently "hundreds" of children are being employed by fast food chain McDonalds, and if that's not alarming enough, I'm going to leave this excerpt right here: "Two 10-year-olds were discovered working unpaid and until as late as 2 a.m. at one McDonald’s restaurant in Louisville, Kentucky, the Labor Department said in a news release."

• More is being revealed about the delicious firing of asshole Tucker Carlson from asshole news outlet Fox News. According to the NYT, a major reason he was terminated was because of a racist text he sent to a producer, talking about how he was cheering on a mob of Trumpsters beating "an Antifa kid" while also admonishing them because "it’s not how white men fight." Can you imagine how alarmed racist Fox News (who regularly promotes racism) must have been to suddenly find a racist in their midst?

• And finally... let's hear it for mass transit.