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Good morning, Portland! If last week’s weather had you breaking out the jorts, you might want to opt for rain boots instead. Thursday’s high is 60, with a low of 49 and a 70% chance of showers. 


• Oregonians are still reeling from news of Secretary of State Shemia Fagan’s resignation earlier this week, but Wednesday brought another curveball: Derrick Peterson, one of the candidates running for the Portland Public Schools board, dropped out of the race, although his name is already on the ballots. Peterson said if he wins, he’ll vacate the seat and allow the PPS board to appoint someone else.  Peterson, a retired Multnomah County Sheriff’s captain, was recently profiled in Rolling Stone for his alleged ties to a Christian nationalist megachurch. Christian nationalists often operate on the belief that the tenets of Christianity should be reflected in public policy, leading some to seek political office for that purpose. Peterson denied any association, but said the attention was harming his family and served as a “distraction” to the students he aimed to serve. 

• This weekend marks the return of Sunday Parkways, the car-free parks event that offers vendors, live entertainment and the chance to move around freely by biking, walking, or heck, even roller skating, throughout public spaces. Check out the lineup for this Sunday’s event in East Portland.

• Speaking of things to do, TONIGHT is the debut of the Mercury’s new and devilishly exciting comedy game show, Two Evils. The event will be hosted at North Portland’s Siren Theater on Mississippi Avenue, by Arlo Weierhauser and Kate Murphy. Hosts will ask a special guest to identify the lesser of two evils in a series of questions, with audience input. Prizes! Laughter! The chance to have a good time on an otherwise soggy spring evening!

• If you need to keep the laughs going, Rip City Comedy Fest has you covered. The brainchild of two Helium staffers, Rip City Comedy Fest promises a wealth of dynamic comedy names: Amy Miller, Blair Socci, Curtis Cook, and pro skater turned podcaster Jason Ellis. There’s also a night of unreleased video from Lance Bangs on the schedule—that you will not want to miss. Culture Editor Suzette Smith has the breakdown of the fest’s ambitious first year.

• ICYMI: Last month, the city’s Office of Community and Civic Life turned down a public funding request from a Southwest Portland organization that used to be a city-funded, sanctioned district coalition. In what is likely the most irresponsible use of funds, the organization is still paying to rent office space, for some reason. SWNI notes it still provides important services to neighborhood associations, like making a monthly newsletter (which, let’s be honest, your nephew could probably throw together for free), and hosting Zoom meetings as well as other administrative assists. But SWNI also has done other notable things in years past, like cover up embezzlement, ignore public records requests, and kick people out of its groups and meetings. 

• In an ironic turn of events, Chick-fil-A, the God-fearing chicken sandwich chain, is eyeing a new location at the site of a Portland strip club. The Oregonian reports Chick-fil-A filed for building improvement permits at the site of The Venue Gentleman’s Club, where employees called out inequitable performance time for Black dancers there in 2020. If you ask me, they should combine the two businesses and call it Strip-fil-A. 


• Speaking of fast food, McDonald’s has been caught employing underage workers at 62 locations, including two 10-year-olds who did everything from sweep floors, to work the register, and operate a deep fryer. Ooof. Not sure why they didn’t just hire the cats.

• A gunman opened fire at an Atlanta hospital Wednesday evening, killing one woman and injuring four others. He was eventually caught after stealing a car. 

• Four members of the Proud Boys were found guilty of seditious conspiracy charges by a jury in Washington, D.C.

• Good news on the Airbnb front... sort of. The platform announced it will now be more transparent about listings that require an arduous list of chores before checkout, because who wants to pay someone to do laundry and haul garbage?!