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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Good news, folks! For the first time since the pandemic started, the Mercury has published a print product! 🥳 🙌 🎉 It's a guide to the city called "SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT PORTLAND" which contains tons of great stories about all the fantastic things Portland has to offer, and how YOU can be the ambassador the city needs right now! Pick up the print version in 500+ places around town, or read the entire thing now and here! (I asked them to also print this edition of Good Morning News, but they disrespectfully declined. 😡 Oh well, here's some old-fashioned online luddite NEWS, I guess!)


• Say... there was an election yesterday! And as usual the Mercury Election Strike Force™ was all over it. Here's what we know as of this morning: Julia Brim-Edwards is projected to be the next Multnomah County commissioner, beating out Ana del Rocío and Albert Kaufman, and the important (but unfortunately written) eviction defense measure went down in flames by a wide margin. Meanwhile, the incumbents on the Multnomah Education Service District appear to have kept their jobs, and Patte Sullivan seems to have squeaked out a win in the Portland School Board race, despite the "is he in, or is he out" shenanigans of controversial candidate Derrick Peterson. (Progressives also did well on school boards outside the Portland area.) Voters reapproved the Children's Levy, and congrats to 23-year-old Rory Bialostosky who has been elected mayor of West Linn! (Mad about any of these outcomes? Welp, since only 23% of you voted across the state, you may want to scream at your apathetic friends about that.) Read more about last night's results here from your trustworthy Mercury news team!

• There was a baaaaad four-alarm fire in the Goose Hollow neighborhood yesterday, which totaled an apartment building, and put lots of people in danger—but firefighters feel confident everyone got out alive. The cause of the blaze is still under investigation, and brought to light some concerning things about older buildings in Portland... but it also gave the PF&R twitter account a good excuse to publish some pretty impressive boomerangs! (Our Courtney Vaughn has more.)

• Governor Tina Kotek is crackin' down on cannabis dispensaries following the La Mota scandal/debacle that took down former Secretary of State Shemia Fagin, now ordering that new cannabis licenses will not be issued to to dispensaries which owe back taxes.

• Late-term capitalism in action: "Topgolf Hillsboro fined $21,330 for child labor violation."


• The GOP's "hatred of women" campaign scores another victory: North Carolina Republicans have overridden their governor's veto and have banned most abortions after 12 weeks in the state. Next door neighbor South Carolina is also considering a stringent ban and, if that passes, there will be no access to legal abortion in southern states. (Note that I italicized "legal.")

• Well, this must have been traumatizing: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were involved in a "near catastrophic car chase" as they tried to avoid the paparazzi in New York City last night. Let's not forget that Harry's mother, Princess Diana, died in a similar situation thanks to asshole photogs out to make a quick buck without any regard for human life.

• Book publishers Penguin Random House, along with authors and parents, are suing a Florida school district for banning a slew of books that are related to race and LGBTQ+ issues, adding that the district is violating the kids' First Amendment rights by “depriving students of access to a wide range of viewpoints" as well as screwing over the authors.

• Last night was election night for many areas of the country as well... here's an update: Trump's asshole pick for governor in Kentucky won his primary over Ron DeSantis' asshole pick for governor; DeSantis' pick for mayor of Jacksonville, Florida, also bombed and was defeated by a Democrat (hee-hee-hee); and in Colorado Springs, independent candidate Yemi Mobolade beat the pants off Republican Wayne Williams in that mayor's race—a Colorado county where Trump dominated the election in 2020 (once again, hee-hee-hee).

• And finally... SAME.