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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Here's your reminder to pick up our new "SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT PORTLAND" guide which contains tons of great stories about all the fantastic things Portland has to offer, and how YOU can be the ambassador the city needs right now! (It also contains one of my famous "Wm. Steven Humphrey's bittersweet and slightly unhinged rants™" that you all know and love.) Pick up the print version in 500+ places around town, or read the entire thing now and here! And as long as you're reading, read today's NEWS now and here... literally!


• In case you missed it, Mayor Wheeler trotted out his latest incarnation of the city's budget, which gives even more money to cops, absolutely nothing for the proven and effective Portland Street Response (that Commish Gonzalez is trying to hamstring), plus lots more moolah for keeping homeless shelters running, while also tapping the brakes on utility rate increases which could cause problems for long deferred infrastructure projects. Commissioner Mingus Mapps—usually wrong about most things—may have been closer to right this time with his lone "no" vote on the budget. Our Courtney Vaughn explains it all for you!

• We're entering week three of the Oregon legislature's "Runaway Crybaby Republican Crisis" as these lazy, no-good layabouts have brought the session to a screeching halt because they hate women, children, and... well, everything except the irrational fears of racist, white folk. (In other words, they think refusing to vote on abortion rights, healthcare for transgender kids, and gun legislation will stop all these things from happening. It won't. But thankfully, most will probably lose their jobs over it, so... silver lining!)

• The Oregonian has a batch of emails exchanged between the Pearl neighborhood location of REI and the city, in which the retail giant made its threats clear that it was going to leave Portland unless local government helped solve its recurring problems with thievery. They also complained about homelessness and a car that drove through the store's window (though I'm not exactly sure what the city was supposed to do about that). Missing from this article: There also happens to be a burgeoning union drive at that particular store, and some employees say the closure is just another sneaky method of union-busting. But sure... let's blame the failure of late-stage capitalism on cars crashing into buildings. 

• A Klamath County Library book club has been dissolved, along with other library programming, following complaints from residents that one such meeting involved discussing the concept of "police abolition," claiming the topic was "too political." In other words, right-wingers are all about freedom of speech... unless it's someone else's, of course.

• Actor Tom Hanks (a well-known aficionado of typewriters) stopped by SE typewriter store Type Space last Wednesday to chat up the owner and purchase an $185 Smith Corona Clipper—and surprise! Apparently Hanks is just as sweet as everyone says.


• Florida governor Ron DeSantis and South Carolina Senator Tim Scott are expected to announce their run for president this week, entering into a jackal fight with Trump for the Republican nomination. (And we can expect about a half dozen more candidates to jump into the bloody fray as well.) 

• Speaking of Republicans ruining everything they touch, the NAACP has issued a travel advisory against visiting Florida, which they rightfully claim is now a destination that is "openly hostile toward African Americans, people of color and LGBTQ+ individuals."

• Another group of women are joining a continuing lawsuit against the state of Texas and asking a judge to put an emergency hold on some of the state's extremist abortion restrictions, saying the Republicans are endangering the lives of women.

• Get excited, Dua fans!

• Tell me if you think this sounds familiar: Boston's new mayor Michelle Wu is fighting to keep her progressive campaign promises, but is getting major pushback and grief from... you guessed it... big business/property owners and the police union.

• And finally... it's a good week to be who you wanna be.