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Good Morning, Portland! Now that Wynne has released three (?!) 🔥 singles this year, can we get a break from all the Kanye West tracks that dropped while I was in high school? Old Town, I am looking in your direction.

IN LOCAL NEWS: 
• Tonight fire shall fall from the skies—I'm being dramatic. The Rose Festival kicks off downtown, and the carnival rides at Waterfront Park swing into action. There's something so cringe about corporate sponsors who want their names on things—like they came up with the idea or something—but fireworks "presented by Xfinity" kick off around 9:50 pm. Dog mothers lock up your doggos. Cats will act like it doesn't bother them, and are encouraged to do a page in their behavioral therapy workbook, but they won't.

• On May 16, a devastating fire destroyed a 42-unit building in Goose Hollow known as the May Apartments. While there were some who clicked around for ten minutes and immediately blamed the situation on reports of building safety issues, OPB's Ryan Haas reports that PPB arrested a building resident on two charges of first degree arson, 18 charges of recklessly endangering another person, and 11 charges of first-degree criminal mischief.

• So while it's fine for clubs in Old Town to offer VIP parking in the city's bike lanes and shut down major corners like W Burnside and NW 3rd for months, the City of Portland has decided to settle a bad faith class action lawsuit which argued that failure to sweep tents on sidewalks downtown was a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. KGW reports that as part of the settlement "the city will prioritize removal of camps on sidewalks by making sure those camps account for at least 40% of overall removals each year for the next five years." Bike Portland also has a good breakdown of this ridiculous dog and pony show.

•What's the difference between that settlement and this ordinance the Mayor is considering, which would restrict daytime homeless camping in public right-of-ways? I am not sure. Are these the same thing? Halp.

• Members of Portland tech thrash trio U SCO became friends at a MAX stop in Beaverton, running into one another after practicing at nearby practice space Bongo Fury. The indescribable metal / noise / math-y thrash that followed was hardly heralded by the ordinary music meet-cute. Ben Salmon profiles the band and their new album.

• This week's Pop Quiz PDX includes the ghost of Phillip Seymour Hoffman!

 
 
 
 
 
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• It's Friday, and you know that means tickets are dropping. Our Everout calendar team compiled a list of shows going on sale this morning and other recommended events currently on sale.

• Oh, and if you're looking for some comedy tonight—this sounds super fun:

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• The FDA is being pretty cool about allowing Elon Musk to put a chip in a human brain. Maybe they just don't want him to Twitter a human brain? Give baby his bottle, I guess. Neuralink, the implant company Musk owns, says it has no immediate plans to actually put a chip in a human brain. 

• The New York Times can be so smug with its 9.7 million subscribers, its adjusted operating profit of $347.9 million, and its squirrel dating story framing that will get people to click on a piece about global warming.  You magnificent bastards. Take my upvote.

• Across the nation, broken-hearted cinephiles are opening their phones to a text from their ex. "You up?" MoviePass asks. After closing in 2019 and filing for bankruptcy in 2020, the company has been reaquired by one of its co-founders, and has been operating in beta mode, in other cities, for several months. MoviePass announced Thursday that it is "opening up its subscription service for nationwide availability to kick off Memorial Day weekend." Per usual, the communication isn't exactly crystal clear, but the site includes a list of theaters where MoviePass will be accepted. And the Oregon theaters are looking promising: Hollywood Theater, Cinema 21, Cinemagic, and Living Room Theaters among them.

• Céline Dion announced she will have to cancel her planned tour dates, though April 2024, as she continues to receive treatment for a neurological disorder called "stiff person syndrome." The dates impacted are in Europe, but I wanted to include this info because the Associated Press headline / image pairing is EPIC.

• The finale of Succession airs this weekend.