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Good Morning, Portland! Going out at the end of an oppressively hot day, to walk around with your friends and fam, is one of life's consistently nice vibes. It was great to see so many people walking and riding transit to the river for the city's fireworks. Portland, Maine cancelled its firework display yesterday, due to rain—because they are weak.

IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Yesterday's style—not the day off, but the night walks—might end up taking a cultural hold, because the planet just keeps getting hotter. Cities in the US and across the globe have reported consistently high temperatures, leading meteorologists to consider July 3, 2023 a potential new hottest day in human recordkeeping. It's not official yet, but yikes.

• The Tunnel Five Fire, which started Sunday morning and spread to nearly 550 acres held steady and didn't grow much more on July 4—at least partially thanks to a near-doubling of firefighters working to quell the blaze.

• Speaking of fires, there were some likely-firework-caused fires in Portland yesterday—including one in an abandoned house in the Lloyd District, which was a site of previous fires, due to its lack of occupancy / maintenance. I'm trying to figure out if this was the house I saw Thurston Moore play a house show in, or if it's just next door to the house I saw Thurston Moore play a house show in.

• Today is looking to be another scorcha, with a projected high of 96 degrees (ew, gross). Yesterday, Portland Water Bureau set up some rustic, but serviceable water and mist stations. Here are the locations:

• Speaking of fires, but the 🔥 is good:

• When I realized Summer of Slushies was about to hit—and there was a strawberry shortcake-themed frozen cocktail in my neighborhood for $8—I briefly considered taking a week off to just ride bikes around in the heat, and get crunk brain freeze. Then I realized the dang extravaganza of $8 boozy slush masterpieces at 22 different locations lasts a whole monthI can't take a month off. What's your dang crunk brain freeze plan?

IN NATIONAL/ INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
Israel's military says it's outie, ending its two-day raid on the Palestinian city of Jenin, which the New York Times reports has "killed at least 12 Palestinians, left one Israeli soldier dead and sent thousands fleeing from their homes." Israel's military claims it killed only militants during the assault, but hasn't provided any proof to support that idea.

• Students whose school districts refused to pay ransoms, following school records hacks, now face the fallout of massive data dumps of their private information. Minneapolis Public Schools is one example of the widespread problem where more than 300,000 files describing situations as sensitive as student mental health crises, abuse, and assaults have now been dumped online by hackers. To make matters worse, the Associated Press reached out to the families of six MPS students, and that contact was the first those families had heard about the privacy breach. 

• Who's ready for SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS?

• Secret Service discovered a suspicious powder at the White House on Sunday, which led to a brief evacuation. A preliminary test suggests it was cocaine. President Joe Biden and his family weren't on the premises, at the time. The President was at Camp David. One can only imagine the West Wing would be camera'd up the wazoo, but for now the investigation as to whomst is sloppy with their coke is pending.

• Siri, what is an open marriage?

Mercury culture section fav John Mulaney was on this week's installment of the Youtube spicy-wing and interview show Hot Ones. The interview was pretty mild—Sean Evans stayed away from any potentially spicy celebrity news questions, instead attempting to mine Mulaney's childhood visits to Chicago's Museum of Broadcast Communications. Mulaney handled the culinary spice with a straight face. “This last time one,” he said of Da Bomb Beyond Insanity “was very hot.” 

• Why is THAT news? So this can be the funny closer:

@level4alpha show me the lie @grindr @astroglideofficial #lgbt #gaytiktok ♬ original sound  - kevyn fong