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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Reminder that in one short week, the gustatory joy of the Mercury's WING WEEK kicks off on October 2 with more that 60 (!) restaurants making creative, one-of-a-kind, and deeeee-licious wings... and for only $8 a plate! And as an appetizer, may I present this free plate of NEWS.


• ICYMI, former Commissioner Jo Ann Hardesty has settled her lawsuit against Portland's police union after then-president Officers Brian Hunzeker and emergency dispatchers spread lies about her being at fault in a hit-and-run accident to the Oregonian (who quickly and thoughtlessly published their lie). While Hardesty says she's happy to put the horrible incident in the rear-view, THERE ARE STILL QUESTIONS. For example, why did the driver of the hit vehicle suddenly change her description of the fleeing car to match Hardesty's car after talking to the police? YUP, THAT IS SKETCHY AF. Find out this and more in our Courtney Vaughn's story.

• Speaking of cops, don't miss our Suzette Smith's smarty-pants review of the Red Door Project's Evolve Experience which pairs true stories from the police (and the folks they police) in an attempt to promote listening and understanding.

• The man who ran over and killed beloved Portland activist Sean Kealiher in 2019 has been sentenced to 17 years in prison. The murderer had nothing to say in the way of apology, remorse, or why he did it. (But we do know how he got away with it for so long... the cops dragged their feet.)

• Well, this tweet is very telling... looks like Commissioner Rene Gonzalez prefers his government hard and erect.

• A Corvallis  company is scheduled to open a robot-building factory in Salem, which will employ 500 humans to build factory-working robots... with help from other robots in the factory. (If their HR department are also robots? There's gonna be trouble.)

• Speaking of robots, to lessen the crunch on overwhelmed 911 dispatchers, Portland's Bureau of Emergency Communications will start using AI software to answer non-emergency calls. Sample dialogue: "Bleep, blorp, may I help you? You say there's a homelesss person digging through your recycling cans? Then I suggest minding your own business, thoughtless human. Goodbye."


• After 146 days, the Hollywood screenwriter strike seems to be coming to an end after workers reached a tentative agreement with the studios. However, don't celebrate the return of your fave TV shows and movies just yet... Hollywood's actors are still on the picket line. 

• BREAKING (seemingly?) NEWS:

• Here's your reminder to order your four FREE at-home Covid tests from the government, which should have a picture of Dark Brandon on the box, but for some reason doesn't. 🤷‍♂️

• Soccer star Megan Rapinoe played the final (and victorious) international game of her career yesterday when the US defeated South Africa in a friendly match in Chicago. She'll be playing her last National Women’s Soccer League regular-season game in Seattle on October 6.

• Diarrhea-mouth former President Trump is now making wild threats that if he's reelected he will launch an investigation into Comcast—which is the parent company for NBC and MSNBC, whose factual reporting, according to dingbat Trump, is tantamount to "treason." Welp, he is certainly the expert on that.

• Today (and for the next year) you may be reading or hearing about a bunch of silly polls about Biden's 2024 chances against Trump (which I refuse to link to, because they are stupid)—please make a special effort to ignore them, as they have absolutely no basis in reality and only reflect people's fears rather than objective fact. They are also usually commissioned by bad actors or news organizations that love to create drama and fear to increase readership, so maybe focus on reality instead? Please and thank you!

• And finally... if you have time to do this in your busy week, well... bless your heart.