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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Hope you enjoyed your dry Halloween, because soaking rain returns to the forecast later today (with a high of 56) just in time for the first day of the Portland teacher's strike. Let's learn about this and many other topics of intense interest in today's roundup of NEWS & INFORMATION, shall we? LET'S!


• Despite the suspicious pleas of the Oregonian Editorial Board, the Portland Business Alliance, and Governor Kotek, Portland Public School teachers are now on STRIKE. The union and the district are still at an impasse, and while state officials could do their jobs and find the $220 million needed to end the strike, so far the governor and legislators are like, "Who? MEEE? It's not our responsibility to insure kids get a quality education like the kind most of us were lucky enough to receive! Hope it all works out! 🤷" Our Taylor Griggs has all the need-to-know details.

• In case you missed it, Mayor Wheeler announced that the city will start enforcing the council's draconian daytime homeless camping restrictions starting November 13. (Ooh, smart... just in time for freezing weather. 😑 I bet Commissioner Gonzalez just loves that!) Our Courtney Vaughn has all the details, including the armies of law enforcement you'll see parading downtown, because nothing says "safety" like a military state!

• Whoopsy-daisy! Social media shit-stirrer Kevin Dahlgren—who you may have seen on Twitter railing against the non-existent "homeless industrial complex" and complaining about how Portland is "enabling" houseless people... you know, by taking away their tents, places to sleep, and their civil rights—has been slapped with a whopping 19-count indictment for allegedly stealing thousands of dollars worth of personal property from the City of Gresham, as well as the identities of five people. (Weird... but I suppose "enabling" is okay when it comes to enabling him.)

• Once again, Portland's cops are costing us more than they're worth, as the city seems ready to fork over $300,000 to a protester who was assaulted and had his arm fractured in two places during a 2020 Black Lives Matter demonstration. Hundreds of thousands have already been paid out to various victims of police violence since the pandemic, and we're just seeing the tip of the iceberg. But sure... putting more cops downtown will solve all our problems.

• Congratulations to William ShakespEAR, an Oregon bat who has won this year's National Bat Beauty Contest! And, not to brag, but this is the second year in a row that a native Oregon bat has taken home the crown. (Sure, you're gorgeous, but show a little humility, bats!)


• For the THIRD time in 24 hours Israel has launched airstrikes against a Palestinian refugee camp in a failed attempt to kill Hamas leaders and a successful attempt to murder civilians. (So, yeah... I guess the first time wasn't a mistake.) The number of dead and injured are currently unknown, but rest assured it's a lot. Meanwhile, around 100 Gazans—those with foreign passports or severely injured—have been allowed to leave Palestine and cross over into Egypt—the first time that's been allowed to happen since the start of the conflict. The death toll in Palestine has topped 8,700.

• Meanwhile, FBI Director Christopher Wray is warning that the actions of Hamas and Israel's genocidal response could inspire a wave of terrorism across the globe—including ones directed at the United States. While there is no signs of imminent threat, Wray noted that the Hamas attacks "will serve as an inspiration, the likes of which we haven't seen since ISIS launched its so-called caliphate years ago."

• You love to see it: Trump's idiot sons, Don Jr. and Eric, are scheduled to take the stand today in the former president's civil fraud trial in New York, to testify about their pop's shady business practices. Their testimony could help decide whether or not their family's company will survive, hee-hee-heeeeeeeeee. Meanwhile, Trump just can't seem to keep his trap shut in regards to his many trials, and in an unhinged 2 am Truth Social rant, warned the judge in his civil fraud case to “Leave my children alone! You are a disgrace to the legal profession!” (For a guy who's been in court so much, you'd think by now he'd know how it works.)

• Meanwhile, billionaire crybaby Elon Musk 🙄 paid a visit to the Joe Rogan 🙄 podcast to give a rambling, bizarre rant about why he purchased (and subsequently ruined) Twitter, which involves San Francisco, a "mind virus," and a "zombie apocalypse." And Rogan was like, "Yep, yep, yep." 🙄

• And finally... happy Halloween hangover day, everybody!