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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! There are two things you love: Sandwiches and SEX. And this week, we've got a lot of both, with the Mercury's Sandwich Week (which features dozens of delish, creative sammies for only $8 each), and the Mercury Sex Survey (which features dozens of probing, fun questions about your sexy sex life—but hurry, the survey closes on Friday)! Now let's feature some probing, delicious NEWS.


• Yesterday Portland City Council approved lucrative salaries and severance packages for a handful of deputy city administrators who will help steer the city's many bureaus until permanent charter reform changes kick in next year. Since they're not given any guarantees they'll keep these jobs for the long term, most council members agreed that you have to pay these people a nice, fair wage to make it worth their while. I said "most" because of course Commissioner Rene Gonzalez cast the lone "no" vote. Find out in this report from our Courtney Vaughn why Gonzalez doesn't think people should be paid fairly. 🙄

• Chalk one up for the conservative lying liars who have convinced Democratic lawmakers to water down Measure 110—which decriminalized minor drug possession—and make it illegal again, therefore continuing the failed "war on drugs" which has been proven again and again to be ineffective in getting people the treatment they need. The new plan would give the accused a chance to get treatment before (and even after) conviction will still cost taxpayers somewhere between $180 million and $235 million—pretty pricey for "fixing" a plan that leaders failed to implement properly in the first place. 

• Meanwhile, in other infuriating Measure 110 news, the Oregonian once again gleefully published the results of a right-wing poll that claims that a majority of Oregonians think Measure 110 is a "failure" and "all parties support recriminalizing drugs." Why should you be suspicious? The poll only questioned 500 people... across the ENTIRE STATE, the poll was conducted by GS Strategies (who helped Amazon in their union-busting efforts), and the poll was commissioned by local hard-right Republican loudmouths, including People for Portland's Dan Lavey, former Republican state lawmaker Max Williams, and Washington County District Attorney Kevin Barton—all of whom hated the idea of Measure 110 in the first place. (Of course we wouldn't even know about this bald-faced advertisement for Republicans if the Oregonian had not regurgitated it. 😡)

• In a shocking and terrible case of mistaken identity, PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center in Vancouver accidentally pulled the life support plug on the wrong person, and to make a bad situation worse, did not inform the family of the deceased about the mix-up.

• If you are a food lover looking for a good flick, check out this excellent review from our Julianne Bell about The Taste of Things—a new film from director Trần Anh Hùng which is a portrait of 19th century French countryside haute cuisine as well as a poignant story about long-lasting love.


• Tens of thousands of AT&T, Cricket Wireless, Verizon, and T-Mobile customers across the nation are experiencing cellular outages, and while the specter of "hacking" is not out of the question, experts currently think it was something much more benign (AKA "human fuck-up").

• The largest healthcare system in Alabama has suspended its IVF treatments following an insane ruling from the state's supreme court who are making the wild claim that frozen embryos are living children. The University of Alabama at Birmingham medical center says they've been put in the impossible situation of serving wanna-be parents and possibly opening them to criminal prosecution.

• Today in "He's right... they're wrong": "Biden calls Putin a 'crazy SOB'; the Kremlin says his comments debased America."


• In news from SPAAAAAAAACE: For the first time in more than 50 years, a US spacecraft is scheduled to land on the moon today, sent there by a private Houston company. Named Odysseus, the robot lunar lander will be delivering six NASA instruments to the moon's surface and is expected to touch down at around 2:30 pm today Pacific time. 

• And finally... SAME.