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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! It's set to warm up a bit today, with a high of nearly 70 degrees. And you know what else is starting to warm up? Pizza ovens all around Portland in preparation for PIZZA WEEK, which starts on Monday. You're going to have a lot of ground to cover if you want to adequately indulge in all the offerings available to you this year.

Just be careful—as amazing as Pizza Week is, it can cause chaos amongst a person's relationships. My friend said that in their dash to eat as many $3 slices as possible last year, she and her Pizza Week comrades began to question the very foundation of their friendships. Trust me, you don't want to get into a screaming match on a stomach full of cheese, carbs, and Jim Beam. So plan ahead and prepare, but have fun.

Alright, I've said enough. And I'll say more, but about different stuff now. So keep reading if you're into that kind of thing.


• Right 2 Dream Too (AKA R2DToo), the self-managed tiny home village near the Moda Center, is on the brink of financial collapse. Without a lifeline soon, it may have to shut down within the next two months, kicking 60 people out onto the street. R2DToo has survived hardship before, but is this moment different? People are calling on the city and county to step in and save this well-known and established tiny home shelter once again.

• It's theater review day (one of my personal favorite days) at the Mercury

• Governor Kotek's office has just lost its fourth staffer in a month. Kotek's Deputy General Counsel Lindsey Burrows announced her departure earlier this week, and intends to return to working as a criminal defense attorney. In her resignation letter, she cited the "critical shortage of qualified [defense] counsel" in Oregon as the main reason for her departure. But given the fact that three of Kotek's top aides left their posts at the end of last month, Burrows' resignation may raise more eyebrows about what's going on in the Governor's office (and does it have anything to do with Kotek's wife, Aimee Kotek Wilson, and her political ambitions?). 

• Jury selection is underway for the Clackamas County court decision that may decide if Oswego Lake remains privatized (only the most elite of Lake Oswego residents are currently able to access the lake). This has seemed like B.S. to some, and two water sport enthusiasts acted on their anger in 2012, suing the city of Lake Oswego over their decision to privatize the lake. The plaintiffs cited Oregon law that states "all navigable waterways are public and must be accessible from public land"—hello, ever heard of the People's Coast?! The city defends its restrictions by saying all of us non-L.O. peons have "visual access to the lake," (??) so we should probably just count ourselves lucky for that. We'll see how the trial goes, but I suspect a ruling makes it harder for the people of Lake Oswego to practice their beloved NIMBYism will NOT be received well. I wouldn't start blowing up your inflatable chairs unless you're ready for a showdown. 


• Yesterday, the Arizona Supreme Court voted 4-2 to uphold a nearly 200-year-old abortion ban, telling physicians they're "on notice that all abortions, except those necessary to save a woman's life, are illegal." But the law isn't technically in effect yet, and abortion providers say they will keep performing abortions through May, with opponents to the ban seeking ways to delay it. Regardless, news of the decision was not received well by liberal, pro-choice politicians as well as some more conservative ones, who are aware of the political repercussions abortion bans have proven to have since Roe v. Wade was overturned in 2022. It's a real shame that Arizonans, who are increasingly voting against madness (AKA, the state has gone blue in recent years), are subject to this kind of ruling. 

• More bad news for Boeing, which is facing a lot of scrutiny after several near-disasters on their model 787 planes this year. A longtime engineer at the company went public yesterday, claiming he saw problems with plane production "shortcuts" that he believes may result in "catastrophic failure" if unchecked. Federal regulators are now looking into it. (All I'll say is I'm hoping this whistleblower remains safe.)

• Jennifer and James Crumbley—the parents of Ethan Crumbley, who killed four students in a 2021 Michigan school shooting—have been sentenced to 10 years in prison. The Crumbley parents are the first parents to be convicted in an American mass school shooting, despite calls to prosecute parents of mass shooters in the past. The difference, in this case, is that evidence suggests there were many occasions in which the Crumbleys could've intervened to prevent the shooting. The judge said the conviction isn't an indictment "about poor parenting," but rather a confirmation of a "repeated...lack of acts that could have halted an oncoming runaway train." 

• Now for a little bit of lighter escaped mountain goat, stuck under a bridge in Kansas City, was rescued on Monday. The rescue became treacherous at times, as one of the first attempted rescuers decided to tie a rope around the animal in order to pull it up to safety (not a good idea!). When firefighters got involved, they were able to successfully save the goat, and he managed to get out unscathed. Thank god! I couldn't handle a dead mountain goat. The goat's name is Chug and he's cute. I wish for his future well-being and all the grass he can eat (or whatever else goats like). 

• Finally...may you have as fun of a Wednesday as Tamu did playing in mud. Adios for now!