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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! The weather forecast can no longer be trusted. Spring is unpredictable, like an emotionally detached, fickle lover. It brings us flowers, but it does what it wants, doesn’t really care what you want or need, and it can’t always be relied on. Probably safe to expect a toss-up of sunshine and clouds today, as weather.com predicts, but don’t get too comfortable. 

Yesterday was tax day. Everybody good?

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by ℕ𝕆𝕆𝔻𝕃𝔼𝕊 (@noodlesthepooch)

Let’s delve into the world of discomfort and wonder that is current events.

In LOCAL NEWS:

  • Portland-based indie band Sleater-Kinney has been around for 30 years. Archetypes of the riot grrrl scene of the 1990s, the band refined their songwriting over the years, leaning heavily into post-punk and rock’n’roll influences, while garnering praise from music critics along the way. In the Mercury’s new "Say Nice Things About Portland" issue, we caught up with Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker of Sleater-Kinney, to talk about their history, their future, and why they still call Portland home.
  • The Portland Police Bureau has a new babysitter. The mayor’s office announced Monday that the city and the US Department of Justice jointly appointed MPS & Associates to be the new independent monitor of the police bureau’s settlement agreement with the DOJ that's been in effect since 2014. The DOJ gave the police bureau a slap on the wrist after the bureau demonstrated a pattern of using excessive force against people with mental illness. MPS & Associates will be tasked with making sure the police are adhering to the terms of the settlement agreement.
  • Sneakerheads, rejoice. Portland’s own sneaker-themed boutique and coffee shop, Deadstock Coffee, teamed up with Boston Celtics powerhouse Jayson Tatum to design a mocha-inspired pair of Jordans, for the latest iteration of the Jordan Tatum 2. The crisp white sneaker features a brown crackle colorway. It’s not the first time the cafe’s purveyor has seen his company’s logo on a shoe. Last fall, the company released a limited quantity of “Drip Force 1s” and in 2021, Deadstock teamed with Adidas for a sneaker inspired by bulk bags of beans, complete with a “country of origin” inspired tongue and sold in a burlap sack. 
     
     
     
     
     
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    A post shared by Deadstock Coffee & Gallery (@deadstockcoffee)

     

  • This week, it's the most wonderful tiiime of the year, AKA, Pizza Week! Your friends at the Mercury are always scheming to feed the masses for cheap. This week, we've partnered with a boatload of pizza parlors around the city to bring you specialty slices for just $3. Want a whole pie? You can nab one for $24. You're welcome!

    In NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

  • Predictably, Donald Trump’s hush money trial is off to a rocky start. Jury selection has yet to happen, but the judge presiding over the case apparently has no patience for Trump’s desperate, whiny lawyers. Business Insider brilliantly laid out the missteps and bench slaps (everyone's new favorite phrase) handed to Trump’s legal team, as they try to defend him against charges of falsifying business records to conceal money paid to porn star Stormy Daniels, to keep her quiet about an alleged affair she had with Trump. The trial is one of four the GOP frontrunner faces.
  • Iran launched a series of missile strikes and drone bombs at Israel last weekend, in an apparent retaliation for what’s believed to be an attack by Israel on Iran’s embassy in Syria on April 1. If it feels perplexing to keep tabs on all the wars and conflicts taking place around the globe, don’t feel bad. The world is a messy place right now. In a nutshell, Iran and Israel have a long, sordid history of beef with each other, with both countries killing civilians or military assets (like nuclear scientists) from the other.
  • Speaking of Israel, the AP reports House Speaker Mike Johnson is now trying to split up a foreign aid bill that includes military funding for Ukraine, Taiwan, and Israel, in an effort to get approval from the House of Representatives. Republicans are trying to tank efforts to aid Ukraine (WTAF?!) which means whatever gets approved could be a shell of the funding package the Senate passed earlier this year.
  • In case anyone needs reminded that we live in the upside down now, the US Supreme Court is deciding a case about what level of bribery is appropriate for government officials and politicians to accept from private people who may stand to gain from their decisions. I think this is the wrong judicial body to be determining issues of morality, but hey, they're the best we got, right? As Rolling Stone points out, a justice compared a politician accepting a $13,000 gift from a private contractor to a "taking a teacher to the Cheesecake Factory."